Interview by fire?

Oh my god was that awful!
No one was mean, no one was unprofessional, but they didn’t ask me anything substantive, and they spent the whole interview making me defend my experience.

“The sky is blue” they would say.

“I like blue” Said I.

“”No, the sky is green.” they would say.

“Well, I suppose I could see some green in the sky, under certain circumstances.” Said I.

“Green is bad.” Said they.


They asked me how I thought my past experience would help in the position, and then intensely dissected my answers. If I said I thought my attention to detail and ability to create a story to surround the facts and elements was a benefit they would respond by telling me I wouldn’t have time to pay attention to any detail or weave any stories. If they said many people were exhausted by the amount of time spent with people, and I said I was a people person and really enjoyed the energy, they would say I would not have any time to spend with people and would instead be an island unto myself.

Worst of all, they kept telling me that most of the people who had a background like mine couldn’t cut it. They told me one person quit after a single day. Then they asked me how I felt about that! They said they didn’t want to waste their time on training up someone who was just going to leave because they couldn’t hack it.

I was almost at the point of telling them that short of whipping out a crystal ball and predicting where I was 6 years down the road I couldn’t tell them more than I will do my best, and I think I would be very good at it.

I cut out the crystal ball part.

Well, at least I have finally had my first serious legal interview, and will know in the future what to expect. Of course, I will likely never interview again, and will instead devote my life to making googly eyed hats with dripping madibles and selling them on ebay.

8 thoughts on “Interview by fire?”

  1. Sorry it wasn’t more friendly. But good news, the CPSC granted a one year stay on the testing of certain products – so you would actually be able to sell your hats on etsy!

  2. Savvy Spoonie – 1432 Blake Street, Denver CO 80218 – I am an artist, writer, jeweler, and a Spoonie. Before becoming a Spoonie I was a very busy high achieving attorney and advocate bent on saving the world. Now I'm struggle to redefine my life to fit within my reduced energy level. Some days are better than others. I have fibromyalgia, trigeminal neuralgia, and chronic daily migraine.
    Scylla says:


  3. Damn! Nothing quite like trying to scare you off right off the bat, is there?

    Did they perhaps have someone else already in mind? They were CLEARLY trying to shove you away.

    So, uh, do you WANT to work there? Is this the dream boss place?

  4. Maggie Ethridge – Maggie May Ethridge is a writer whose work has appeared in Marie Claire, Guernica, The Guardian, Cosmopolitan and more. Her memoir, 'Atmospheric Disturbances: Scenes From A Marriage' was published 2014 by SheBooks.
    maggie says:

    i’ve enjoyed browsing your posts- the one on guilt with kids was so honest! i have three.
    your life is very interesting 🙂

  5. We never ask anything substantive in our interviews either. Granted, our practice covers every area of law, so it wouldn’t be very productive.

    We’d never treat an interviewee like that.

    Anyway, we may be losing one of our Research Associates to the AG’s office (emphasis on research), and it’s probably only going to be part time. Not sure if you’d be interested if it does open up, but if so, shoot me an email.

  6. P.S. I’m really bothered that they said those things to you. Why bring you into an interview to do that? They should have been able to judge whether a candidate is a good match by their resume.

    Screw ’em, I say! And, you really had a close one there. Who wants to work with that sort of group?

  7. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time. I know this isn’t terribly helpful, but maybe it really is for the best. You deserve a job that will not feel like you’re being waterboarded.

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