I have spent the past week now with a baby who has suffered fevers of between 102 and 104, and now lesions in his mouth making it nigh impossible to eat or drink much. I have not been sleeping well, eating well, or moving far from the couch. My arms haven’t been empty for more than a few minutes for seven days. He is  back to sleeping with us at night. I haven’t opened a case file or researched a legal topic in over a week. On the upside, I am watching the entire first season of House.

Thank god I don’t have a job to get fired from due to all the work I would be missing.

This week has really driven home my realization that a full time + job at this juncture would be a mistake, especially one with a two hour daily commute.

Added to that realization is my husband being assigned to another client, and once again having to travel a fair portion of the time. Someone has to be home to handle the perpetually sick children and increasing “tumble fur” issues, not to mention all the boundary setting and arguing that comes with a seven year old. (She never agrees to anything, aruges the fine points of everything we say, and simply chooses to act “with malice aforethought” a good portion of the time.)

One of us has to be here to do this, or at least have a job that allows us to take time off. Lee can’t really do that, and I can’t if I am supposed to be in court all the time.

These epiphany’s seem to come to me after traumatic events. That interview was so negative, it took me very little time to feel relieved that I saw that nature of that office before I made choices that would have committed me to full time child care and an inflexible schedule.

This week I finish the office, order my new computer, and get the ball running on advertising and announcement for my practice. At least I won’t fire me for taking sick days.