My mother has this sign on her desk:

“Sometimes it’s not worth chewing through the leather straps in the morning…”

It perfectly sums up how I am feeling right now. To put it all into a poor parody of a great song:

It’s been One Week since the labs got done, 

I hoped the testing would bring me some answers, 

Three days since the doctor called, 

and I found out I’ve got fibromyalgia, 

Two days since I started drugs, 

They make me feel dizzy and covered in tiny bugs, 

This afternoon I went to therapy 

and got to learn how much my daughter’s been resenting me…

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. After years of testing and medications and treatments I have a diagnosis that wasn’t even on my horizon. I am not exactly pleased to have this “answer” because there aren’t any fixes for the condition but I am happy that I do not have something degenerative.

In other words; I may feel like this forever, but at least I shouldn’t feel worse than this, and forever will actually last forever, so that’s a bright shiny silver lining.

In other news my eldest monkey asked her dad and I go to therapy with her, wherein she asked to get permission to get back together with her old boyfriend. (Long story, let’s just sum up and say it’s not happening with our blessing and for many reasons we will do whatever we can to stop it.) After giving her the many well thought out reasons he and I have been compiling we got the usual teen answer, unhappiness. Then I got all the blame for every problem she has ever had and a withering look accompanied by “I. Love. You. MOTHER.”

Oh I am so excited to celebrate Mother’s Day, or as they call it in my household, “I’m not going shopping to get a present for that bitch” day!  A whole day spent with a child who wants nothing more than to save up every penny she gets “so she can move out as soon as possible MOTHER!” It’s going to be the best holiday since the one when rabid wolverines broke into our house and systematically ate each member of the family in alphabetical order, skin first.

Parenting a teen is so much fun!