Making lemonade…

When life gives you lemons…

Or as Lee would say, when life kicks you in the nuts.

His mom is in the ICU on life support, I am due in three weeks and have been having contractions off and on for three weeks. I can’t fly, he doesn’t want to leave me here and fly back home.

Tomorrow we will know if she is likely to recover or not. If she is not, she is also unlikely to be concious and he is uncertain if he wants to risk missing Otter’s birth to go say goodbye to his unconcious mother. I wish beyond anything that we could all fly back and say goodbye, but they simply will not let me on a plane. They view me in a light similar to a bomb. I could go off at any moment, spewing baby and whatever else all over the plane.

On the upside, you always find out how wonderful your friends are when this stuff happens, Devon has offered to stay with us and take a crash course in labor partnership in case Lee has to go home and I go into labor while he is away, Monkey offered to help me out in L&D as well. Morgan and Amy offered to keep Monkey while I am in labor, and my mother offered to fly out and stay with me while Lee goes back.

This would all be so much easier if I could go into labor tonight, have the baby, and then send Lee on his way to his mother’s bedside tomorrow or the next day.

We are sad. We are angry. I am so upset that she is unwell, that she might be dead before her first grandson is here, when she is so close to meeting him. I am also angry with her, illogically so, for adding this new dimension to our lives in a time that should be filled with anxiety and excitement for the baby, and not really anything else. It is silly I know, but I can’t help feeling this way, chock it up to hormones, I only have them as an excuse for another month or so.

Anyway, please send Lee your love, he needs it.

6 thoughts on “Making lemonade…”

  1. Sorry this is happening to you kiddo. Tell Lee we’re sorry.

    By the way, don’t kid yourself – you’re gonna have hormones whipping around in your body well past the time you stop breast feeding.

    What? You think they drain out of your body along with amniotic fluid? Hah! Weeping over dumb commercials will still have you in thrall for MONTHS to come!

  2. true, but that can be chocked up to sleep deprivation, in addition to hormones.

    Thanks for your love, we feel better knowing it is out there.

  3. Not that I want you to have the baby without Lee being there, but my gut reaction to this is if he doesn’t go home, even to say goodbye to an unconscious mother, he’ll regret it. If he misses the baby’s birth, he can still have a relationship with the baby, but when his mother is gone, she’s gone. I managed to arrive when my father was unconscious just before he died. I always regretted I didn’t go immediately when he was hospitalized instead of beleiving the docs who said he’d be OK, until they called to say he wouldn’t live through the night. But at least he knew on some level that I’d come.

    I’m sorry this is happening at such a vulnerable time for you, but now it is about Lee and his mom.

  4. I agree with you. As much as I would be sad to have him miss this moment in our lives, I feel as though he really needs to go home.

    However, I also need to respect his choices, and he is really reluctant to take that chance.

    I wish I could make is easier by going into labor tonight so he could leave tomorrow.

  5. I can see how he would be torn. I told my husband about the situation and all he said was it would be a hard decision. Make it. Do your best. It’s all you can do.

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