Maybe it’s being sick, maybe it’s the economy, but today I feel as though nothing I am trying to do is possible.
I am isolated, working from a desk under the stairs to my bedroom, my only daytime interaction with the under 8 crowd. There is no real pay for what I do, no recognition from peers, only an increasingly depressing bank balance, and no end in sight.
Why did I think I could start a practice and care for my kids? How is it possible that three years of killing study, endless pro-bono work, and a mortgage worth of loans could render me less employable then before?
I can’t get a job outside the legal industry, because I am a huge quit risk, clearly likely to leave for a better position as soon as I am offered one. I can’t get a job in the legal industry because I don’t have enough experience, or I focused too much on my family while in school, and didn’t hit the top 10% of my class.
It looks like dark days ahead, and I can’t find the light at the end of the tunnel.
I know I have been given breaks in my life, clearly I have or I wouldn’t be sitting here, highly educated, complaining. However, if I don’t get this final break, a friggin paying job or practice, then those other breaks will mean little.