Maybe it’s being sick, maybe it’s the economy, but today I feel as though nothing I am trying to do is possible.

I am isolated, working from a desk under the stairs to my bedroom, my only daytime interaction with the under 8 crowd. There is no real pay for what I do, no recognition from peers, only an increasingly depressing bank balance, and no end in sight.

Why did I think I could start a practice and care for my kids? How is it possible that three years of killing study, endless pro-bono work, and a mortgage worth of loans could render me less employable then before?

I can’t get a job outside the legal industry, because I am a huge quit risk, clearly likely to leave for a better position as soon as I am offered one. I can’t get a job in the legal industry because I don’t have enough experience, or I focused too much on my family while in school, and didn’t hit the top 10% of my class.

It looks like dark days ahead, and I can’t find the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know I have been given breaks in my life, clearly I have or I wouldn’t be sitting here, highly educated, complaining. However, if I don’t get this final break, a friggin paying job or practice, then those other breaks will mean little.

7 thoughts on “Doldrums…”

  1. I am not embarking on a new career but have been considering one and feel the same way. I think it must be the general air at the moment. Hopefully, it will pass soon. Good luck!

  2. I’d hire you if I um, owned a law firm and was in need of a talented and sexy attorney. Of course, I’d get sued for sexual harassment over the sexy comment. 🙂

    Does it count in court if you say, “But, it’s true!”

  3. Wait! *I* recognize you!

    See? There’s a little peer recognition for ya. What? Ya want cash, too? I’ll give ya a quarter when ya come over next.


  4. well, i admire you for even trying. we recently became concerned with our income / outcome situation, so i have picked up a weekend jobby-job. the outcry from friends and family has been, why don’t you start a business out of your home with the fantastic education you have? i guess i just don’t have that kind of faith in myself! besides, i don’t want to deal with any more drama, i just want a steady paycheck.

    i think the only time i’ve seen the business out of the home thing work well and consistantly is when the work-at-home parent hires a sitter to watch the kids a couple mornings/afternoons a week so he or she can acually concentrate on their work. but then, of course, one has to be able to justify the cost of the sitter! blah!

  5. Just read this post in my reader and had to comment. It’s so hard on the days where we feel like we aren’t getting ahead at all to just keep on going and make a success out of our dreams.

    I started my business (not a lawyer, but a VA) this summer and it has been so hard. Thankfully every time I feel really down something even a little positive happens to reassure me that my choice is a good one and I CAN make it work if I just keep at it. I recommend hanging out on Twitter for some company and a great legal network (I’m @halosecretarial and in my following list there are tons of great lawyers you might want to check out!)
    Hope you are having a better day today!

  6. Heh there Scylla… hope you are out of the slump by now.. you need these to make the good times great… and look… you clearly have friends and family who care.

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