They’re back…

Damn.

I’ve been off the Topomax for less than a week and I already have a migraine.

It’s a doozy too, complete with photo-phobia, audio-phobia, and the general sense that my eyeballs are being pushed out of my head by angry little trolls. (Very angry little trolls. Curse you angry trolls!!)

Maybe it’s the weather. Too much pressure building up in the skies resulting in too much pressure inside my head. Maybe it’s the drug, some sort of withdrawal headache.

In the 21 years I have suffered from migraines, Topomax is the only drug that has ever prevented them. It is also the only drug I have ever taken that has stripped my vocabulary right out of my brain, leaving big vacant places where hard earned archaic English language used to be. It offers me a choice between pain or permanent brain damage.

As much as it pains me to say it; I think the migraines are better than the brain damage.

Damn.

Hurry up and wait…

Working for the environment has a sense of urgency to it. Last week I wrote a complaint for a species that hasn’t been seen alive in nearly a decade. Most of my species are very close to extinction, have vanished from most of their historic ranges, and are unlikely to recover without immediate and intensive action on the part of the government.

Which is why it can be very frustrating to file a complaint, and then wait sixty days for the government to respond. Then, of course, there is more waiting while we answer the response, motions are filed, etc.

All the while the species is degenerating, losing what little chance it had to be saved. Yet I have to fit my filings into my practice and my life, have to schedule savings these endangered species in between dental appointments and back to school nights.

Sometimes I feel as though I could lock myself in a room and do nothing but file complaints on behalf of vanishing species. Sometimes I wonder if my work has any positive effect, or if it’s too late after all. Most of the time I try to manage the sense of urgency that comes with my work, reminding myself that I have a life too and that this is my job, not my life.

Still, it’s mighty nerve-wracking to wait.

Here is the press release from last month’s case.

Diving down the rabbit hole…

Today I went to work at my favorite community center/coffee house. After the great loss of the laptop yesterday I spent frenzied minutes trying to come up with a quick money making scheme only to realize that working my ass off on the plans already under way is a more likely way to get Lee a laptop sooner, rather than later.

So this morning, infused with a new sense of purpose, off into the land of legal research I went.

One of the things I love about research is the sense of archaelogy I get when I am stuck in the middle of it. I often feel as though I am digging into the vastness of the earth, dusting off bits of information one moldy bit at a time and trying to piece together bits of information into a picture that turns into a cognizant legal claim. Today was a total Indiana Jones day. At one point in time I was buried under my laptop, fifteen tabs open in firefox, shifting back and forth between scientific publications about various types of insects and looking for references to the de-watering of the Ogallala Aquifer. I briefly wondered if my clients would be better served by an entomologist turned lawyer while I tried to understand the classification language I was sorting through.

Finally, glinting out from within the internet dust, there was an article I could use as a starting point to my claim! Success!! I delicately removed it from the pile of detritus surrounding it and emailed it to myself, feeling triumphant and happy that my diligence had been rewarded.

Of course tomorrow I have to look up the articles behind that article, so I will have to break out my virtual dust brush and leather brim hat once again.

Managing life with chronic illness requires savvy spoons