All of a sudden they are six going on sixteen! Monkey is now muttering “whatever” when I am parenting her, and using the phrase “like” about every third word. Not to mention the phrase “oh my god!”

“Mommy? Ummm… Mommy?”
“Yes Monkey?”
“Like, ummm…, we had cake, like chocolate cake, not the other kind of cake, at like school today because like, it was like, Jake’s birthday?”
“That sounds good… did you enjoy your cake?” (Notice I avoided the word like?)
“Yeah, it was like, pretty good, I even ate the cake part, not just, you know, like the frosting.”

“Oh my god mommy! Otter just caught the ball!”
“Oh my god, did you see that mommy?”

Tee hee… hee. Aaaahhhh!!! When did she turn like…. thirteen?

She left to see a movie with her dad today and had to put on her earrings and change her shirt before they left so she would look nice at the mall. Ahhh!! She never used to care what she looked like at the mall!! She would leave the house with her teeth unbrushed, her hair in tangles, and wearing her jammies if I didn’t force her to dress! Now she is up early primping!!!

Here is the scariest part:

She looks like a miniature teenager!!

She really is only six! Do you think it’s too late to by her bloomers and make her wear a merino frock and wool muff for the long walk to school? Maybe if I gave her a slate and chalk and encouraged her to learn ice skating and embroidery? Something has to halt her rapid progression into teenagerdom!

Yesterday, while playing dress up, she came downstairs in her earrings, high heels, and a little black dress and said “Look Mom!! I look just like a teenager! That is so cool!”

(Can you feel the heart palpitations? Can you hear me hyperventilate?)

There is some comfort in knowing I have many more months of diaper changing and babydom before my boy becomes a teenager in training, but seeing Monkey hit this stage so soon makes me feel as though the time is shorter than I originally thought it would be. Otter is growing very fast, but he is still smack in the middle of his baby days.

His latest achievement? He has begun to munch on teething biscuits and this interesting rice cracker we found called a Baby Mum Mum. As I bonus I get to wander around saying “Do you want a Mum Mum? Mmmm…. Mum Mum’s are Yum Yum!”
(It’s okay, sometimes I make myself sick too.)

Ellen and I went into NYC last night for our first Broadway show. As in, a show being performed on Broadway!! Lee got me tickets when I missed yet another Mom’s Night Out in October, to show me that I do indeed get to go out, and motherhood is not a conspiracy designed to prevent me from every seeing the outside world again. Of course, once we got the tickets and planned the outing, his mom went back into the ICU and was set to be taken off life support, so the timing for this outing sucked too. However, Lee was insistent that I go see the show regardless of the situation with his mom. Fiercely insistent. So, I picked Ellen up and drove off to the train, feeling only a little bit like a horrible person for leaving Lee alone with the kids during such an emotional time. As the trip began, I focused on enjoying myself, since there is nothing more ungrateful than wasting a husband’s sacrifice by feeling guilty. He insisted, so I enjoyed. Thank you honey! You gave me a wonderful night.

There are some perks to living in New Jersey, and being an hour long train trip from Broadway and Times Square is one of those perks. We caught the 5 pm train and hit Penn Station about 6:15. We had time to find our subway, shoot over to Port Authority, and wander around gawking at the tall spires of billboards and the sheer ant colony-esque energy of NYC for a while. We walked through Times Square, ate a little dinner at the Junior’s down from our theater, and settled in about ten minutes before the show started.

Here we are standing still in a flurry of activity. (Taken by two kind, though not particularly skilled photography-wise, tourists)

It was a wonderful night. I was a little nervous about leaving Otter without “the Boob” for so long, but he doesn’t seem to have suffered overly much, though he wouldn’t eat anything Lee tried to give him and they had a bit of a rough night. I am so glad we went though. Ellen and I haven’t had time to ourselves sans children for a very long time, and it was good to go play like a grown up. I love NYC, it is one of my favorite places to go, but I can’t enjoy it when the kids are along. I am too much of a nervous nellie to relax my death grip on Monkey’s hand and just enjoy the things around me. When I am there without children the City actually relaxes me. I can watch the things going on around me and revel in the sheer magnitude of energy that is New York. So it was a real treat (thank you hubby!) to go out for a night on the big apple without the kids.

What did we see on our adventure? Muppet sex!

Yes, muppet sex. Full on, furry bodied, the actors spent way too long making it look real, I can’t believe we are seeing this, muppet sex. (Does that muppet have nipples and chest hair?) Avenue Q is full of muppet sex, and hysterical songs like “Everyone’s a little bit racist”, “The internet is for porn” and “It sucks to be me”. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long, long time. I also haven’t blushed so much, or been caught so off guard. It is a funny, funny show. I really wanted to buy the soundtrack, but the last thing I need right now is a parent teacher conference because my daughter is singing about pornography and racism. It is soooo not a show for kids (though there were a few there! Oh hapless unwary parents!)

After the show we caught the train and headed home to bed and hungry baby. We got back a little after midnight, and I was up nursing the baby and caring for a coughing Monkey until a little after one. It was beyond worth the sleeplessness though. I am so thrilled to have gone to a show on Broadway, and so refreshed to have had a night out alone with a great friend.

Ellen and I in Times Square, vainly attempting to take our own photo together: