My husband is brilliant, or my daughter is weird…

Lee stayed home with me today because I have been feeling very tired and dizzy lately and he wanted to check up on me. After picking Monkey up from school, he brought her home and I prepared to set her up with her half hour of television before asking her to start her homework. However, before I could hit play on the Berenstein Bears episode I had prepared, Lee came up with the most insane suggestion ever.

“Monkey, if you go clean up your room, I will teach you how to do laundry.”

Yeah right!! I hear this “bribe” and wonder how delusional my husband has become. No child wants to work, only so they can do more work! You bribe with t.v., or outside play time, or a family board game!! Shaking my head in wonder, I calmly explained to Lee that I usually let her relax for half an hour after school before asking her to work. She then interrupted me with the following;

“Daddy, I usually like to watch half an hour of t.v. before I work, but I really want to learn to do laundry so I would like to go clean my room right now!”

She ran off to do so. Lee, rightfully so, looked smug. After several seconds of staring at the empty space left by Monkey’s fast retreat to her room, I eventually recovered from my shock.

Oh my god!! Who actually thought Lee could cajole a room cleaning with laundry lessons? Why hasn’t he written a book about this brilliant work-based bribery system? Furthermore, why didn’t I think of it? I am pretty sure there is something special in his pheromones or something, if I attempted to encourage work with work, all I would get is refusal and begging for television. He must have some awesome daddy powers.

She went nuts on her room too, cleaned the whole thing and then came out into the living room to ask for the vacuum so she could clean the rug too. I wonder how long this laundry motivation will last….

Happily, they are settling into their own routine, and one that is independent of me. Lee started a very odd game with her, one he calls “And who are you?” where he pretends to have no idea who she is or where she came from. Their time together is often punctuated by her patiently explaining that she is his daughter, that she lives with him, that he had breakfast with her that morning, etc. She really seems to think it is funny, and it allows them some silly time together. They really need it as this seems to be the first time in their relationship where they are really banging heads. Monkey simply can’t get enough of her daddy, but at the same time she seems to be really ready to push his buttons. I know kids have phases when they are developing their own individuality and have to differentiate themselves from you somehow, but I was unaware that this began at 5. It is very frustrating. I spend a lot of time talking, and then wondering if I am slowly disappearing from the rest of the world as she wanders off as though I have not spoken.

It is especially difficult to be patient with her as I get more and more pregnant. I am tired all the time, and can’t ever seem to get enough energy to handle all I do at work and home. Even with she and Lee being as helpful as they are, it has been a long and hard 5 months. I have been fatigued enough lately that I am going to ask my doctor to check me for anemia come our next visit. I just don’t remember ever feeling this run down. Anyone have any magic pregnancy safe energy supplements I can take to survive the next three and a half months?

Well, I am off to lie down, again, and daydream about having the energy to finish the Socktopus I am making for Margot so she can get it before her baby arrives.

Amazing childhood patience and lessons learned at the hands of our babies…

So, like many parents I have often complained about the hassles of being a parent. The difficulty of balancing a career with a child, the exhaustion of coming home from work just to clean, cook, and help with homework. The seemingly endless march of parental stuff one has to go through.

However, in the midst of all this kvetching I have often been given the opportunity to realize how well behaved and helpful my child is, and how lucky I am. This past week was an excellent example of just such an opportunity.

I usually drop Monkey off at school and go to work for five hours until it is time to pick her up. Sometimes she hangs out at the office for an hour or two after school while I finish something up. I have felt lucky that she likes the office enough that she will do that.

However, this past week she had half days wednesday through friday. I was worried that I would have to have her at the office too long, that I wouldn’t be able to get her to be well behaved long enough for me to get any extended work done. This was not the case.

This thursday she was at the office with me for seven and a half hours. She did not complain, she was not disruptive. She hung out, colored, played with paper airplanes, did her homework, and watched television while I worked on a deadline. She was an angel. She really, really likes it there.

As we were leaving, I thanked her for coming to the office with me and being so helpful. She responded with “You know how I use to come to law school with you? This is kind of like that. I missed it. I like to come to work with you.”

I gave her a huge hug and told her how very lucky I am to have her for a daughter. I thought it was amazing she could sit through an hour and a half long law class when she was three, I am blown away that she can hang out at my office for a full working day at five.

I will have to do my best to remember this when I am caught up in the daily labor of parenting. If she can be happy to be with me at the office, even though it can’t be as much fun as being home, I should be happier to come home after work and cook, clean, and help with homework. It is a pretty decent trade off for having such an amazing child.