HALLOWEEN MADNESS OCCURRED EARLY THIS YEAR as hundreds of Red Bank students celebrated the famed holiday on the friday before…. (article continues on page 5.)

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First, we moved my volunteer day to friday, so I could better understand the madness that is halloween in a primary school. I arrived a little after noon, and proceeded to spend the next 40 minutes assisting small people with the donning of costumes. Then I spent some time urging Monkey to stop moving, as each time she did she beaned a peer on the head with her wings. (They came off until the parade)

Then we all sat patiently in our seats while we waited for the school announcement to tell us we were heading out to the flagpole for the parade. The announcement, scheduled for a few minutes after one o’clock, was a little late. Therefore, we distracted the small, squirming princesses, teenage mutant ninja turtles, cartoon characters, and screamers with snacks. As the only parent who is obsessive about nutrition, I spent a few hours cutting a cantalope into pumpkin, bat, and cat shapes for handing out at the class party. It was the only remotely healthy treat, save a bag of carrots. So I handed out halloween cantalope and watched it get gobbled up by pleased children. Then we handed out cheese doodles, and watched parts of said children’s costumes turn orange. Then they finally called us out to the parade.

The children ran, marched, spun, twirled and danced around to show off their creative costume ideas. Then we headed in for trick or treating in other classrooms (a logistical nightmare) and then the party.

Wow!! So many cupcakes! Four for each kid! And candy, and chips… no one sent in sandwhiches or anything. Next year, I will make more than one piece of shaped cantaloupe per kiddo. There really was an amazing plethora of sugar.

After the party we went home, and Monkey ate something resembling healthy food. Tonight is Halloween, so we will once again don the wings of head beaning and wander the streets of Red Bank for candy treats. Is it a fair “trick” to sneak the chocolate out of your child’s candy bag when they are asleep?

Cat sucker…

Le sigh….

Well, I dropped my daughter off at school this morning and upon leaving the grounds was greeted by a plaintive mew. Following the noise I saw a small black and cream mottled cat sitting by the massive marsh directly in front of the school. It mewed again. I said “Hello kitty” and at this point it wandered over, pushed against my leg, and seemed to say “I’m cold, and very, very, hungry. This is your problem now.”

Obviously, there is a small mottled cat in my upstairs bathroom who has a date with a vet. It ate a packet of cat food and resolutely began licking the enamel off the bowl. It was so small, and it’s little tummy was sooo very small, I couldn’t leave it there. I had hopes that it was a lost kitten, rather than a stray, but inquiries of the other moms when I picked Monkey up weren’t promising. It seems this little kitty has been at the marsh for quite some time.

It looks as though we have another cat.

It is not all my fault though. I have been dropping Monkey off at school all year, and not a single cat has targeted me for potential mom-hood. However, a few days ago, Lee suggested we get another cat for the kitten, as Chloe (our Siamese) has not befriended Rue. See, he let the universe know there was a potential opening in our house for a cat! This is his fault too.

Oddly, both Chloe and Rue were sitting side by side, hissing at the bathroom door hiding the cat. They seem to have bonded in adversity.

Cats are simply perverse.

So, off to the vet at five, may the cat please be healthy and not have a crazy illness.


Swearing in…

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…

For all those following the long, hard, and relatively tedious process of becoming an attorney, I have finished the final piece, and now, may sue and be sued.

I was sworn in at the Boettcher concert hall with many of my peers on the 23rd of October, 2006. My parents and Monkey were in attendance, though Lee had to stay in NJ to keep the homefires burning.

I doubt there can be a ceremony that truly makes one feel as though the three years of insane study, hundreds of thousands of dollars, months of exam preparation, and months of tense waiting were actually worthwhile. I really only remember the part when the Chief Justice of the Colorado Supreme Court, Mary Mullarky, asked us to repeat after her. However, aspects of the day certainly improved the occasion, and made it memorable.

Nick, my stalwart study partner through the months of hell that were the bar exam, and I stood together during the ceremony. This allowed for his hug to be the first to usher me into the practice of law. Fitting as there would have been far more insanity, and quite possibly less success, if I had not been blessed with him as a study partner.

I got to share a moment with Mark, who helped keep me and Nick on the ball night after night, week after week, while we began to lose the urge to cram in “JUST ONE MORE RULE!!” Thanks for being there!! We did it!

Friends and loved ones came to swear and be sworn, to affirm and reaffirm, and to show more love and support for their newly minted lawyer friends. Eric and Caitlin, Ben and Sanjin, Scott and Sierra, Dara and many more came to share the day with me.

I got a few moments with Paul as well, whom I sat with in most of our law classes, and will miss terribly now that it is all over and I am miles away. Paul, our promises of monthly lunches downtown will have to be postponed until I can get the family back to your neck of the country.

Monkey was so proud she almost cried, but luckily Caitlin was there to keep her entertained, and extra cute.

I got a brief chance to do a victory dance with Jen as well. We shared a room during the exam, and gorged on crab cheese wontons and fried rice at Chan’s after each day. Jen!! We did it!! We have a date, after the baby is born, to be in a dark bar until we are on the verge of alcohol poisoning!!! (I still maintain that crabcheese wontons are brain food of the highest order.)

It is over! I am an attorney!! I wish I could say I don’t have to do any of this again, but I moved out of Colorado just days after the bar!! Therefore, in February, I take the bar in New Jersey. Sigh. I guess for now, I will sit on my laurels for a few weeks, and bask in the glow of possible litigation.

Swimming with the sharks…

What does a lawyer do on her tropical honeymoon?

Swim with the Sharks of course!!

We went snorkeling in the Bahamas on our honeymoon. The final snorkel was a “shark dive.” Now, I have a fear of sharks, a rather impressive, illogical, irrational, they can get smart and grow legs and come eat me on land kind of fear. Therefore, I was not intending to get into the water while there were any sharks around at all. However, during one of the reef dives, there was a lone shark fairly near by, and he didn’t hunt me down with “jaws”-esque intensity so I began to relax. Lee said they weren’t going to attack a lawyer anyway, professional courtesy and all. Being our honeymoon, I decided to forgo the requisite violent response.

Then we got to the last dive. The shark dive. I looked into the water and saw an ocean teeming with sharks.

I felt faint, I felt certain this was a bad idea, I felt I had to do it anyway. (I never said I am always intelligent.)

Yes, in spite of my inner brain, which at this point was screaming loudly while attempting to make my arms and legs cling to the ship, I entered the shark infested waters.

I followed the rules, followed the rope out into the water, and looked down. There were a lot of sharks, about 20 – 30 of them investigating the bait box below. However, the bait box was really, really far below, about 30-40 feet deep, so the sharks weren’t so bad. I started to calm down. I spent some time ogling the fiercesome predators in their environment, I started to enjoy myself. Then I saw movement out of the corner of my right eye. I looked to the right…. and calmly ambling towards me with the best of intentions was a frackin shark! It was perhaps 10-15 feet away, near the surface of the water, peering at me as if to say “What’s all this then? Got any food?”

Well at this point I choked a little on seawater because one shouldn’t actually say “This is a F&*&ing bad idea” while snorkeling. (Who knew?)

So I began to edge towards the boat with an outward calm. It took far too long to get out of the water, but eventually I was on dry land again. Whew.

Then they called everyone in and pulled up the bait box. And fed them.

This is what a shark frenzy looks like…

This is what sharks do when they are being taunted with dead fish by young Bahamian divers.

Notice the surprising amount of boat underneath that shark! The sharks started coming up out of the water and onto the back of the boat. Yes my friends, it seemed as though they were indeed growing legs and coming to get me on dry land! But there were no legs, they were leaping on the to back end for the fish, and there was about 6 inches of boat wall between me and the sharks. Tee hee hee…. heh.

Anyway, I survived, and enjoyed it! Though the experience has not really eradicated my shark fear, but then again, I admitted it was irrational. I am not sure I would ever do this again, but I can certainly say I am pleased I was able to greet my fellow sharks personally, without the assistance of a set of cement galoshes.

Theme Halloween??

Rantings of a holiday offended mother….

What the hell is with people and Halloween this year?

Do you remember the days of sitting with 10 dollars, some fabric, thread and a needle, glue, and whatever else you could find and trying to piece together a ghostly ghoul or a moldy corpse, or a elegant vampire?

Do you remember turning puns into costumes? I do!! However, the Red Bank Primary School will not be encouraging such creative shenanigans this year! No!! This year the school theme is “There’s no place like home” and the children riding on and walking next to the FLOAT in the parade have to dress like those darling (read creepy), little (read stereotyped), munchkins from our favorite movie of all time “The Wizard of Oz”. (So not my favorite movie of all time.)

Sigh. Well having just read Wicked, I will skip the diatribe about how misunderstood the Wicked Witch of the West really was (though I encourage all of you to read Wicked, it was a fantastic novel) and will instead move on with lambasting the Red Bank PTO.

How stupid is this. First of all, why are we having a float? Come on!! Its a halloween parade not the Mayberry fall festival. It’s supposed to be full of creative creepy undead things and the inevitable Star Wars characters. It is not supposed to be an event designed to satisfy the narcissistic needs of the children’s parents, it is supposed to be a chance to let your children come up with a truly dreadful costume, be it dreadful in a good way, or a bad one, and show it off to all their friends and neighbors. But no, this year all the darling little children will be dressed to look like members of the Lollipop Guild, which, while admittedly creepy, is going to result in the homogenization of the entire primary school.

So much for encouraging creative impulses.

So this year, when viewing the parade at Red Bank Primary, seek not the children dressed in costumes requiring you to guess again and again as to what they are, instead get ready to view a troop of munchkins. Whatever you do, don’t pay any attention to the parents behind the curtain.

Rue the day…

A new kitten.

The wedding and honeymoon info will have to wait. There is a much more important, or at least, much cuter, new addition to our lives that requires an introduction.

Meet Roo. Roo was the runt of the litter, hence why we named him Roo. He is already famous for his enthusiastic 5 am sessions of “Attack Blanket Kitten Commando”, ruthlessly played on our bed.

So far, his favorite pastimes include… purring in one’s ear after having painfully scrambled up their shoulder, eating Lee’s or my buttons, playing “catch the feather” with Monkey, and eating the dog’s food. (Much to their consternation)

He is also big on sleeping, though not at night. He mostly prefers laps. More cute images of the new resident cutie to come. And a summary of our island adventures.

Passed the bar!!

A brief update, to be followed by many ramblings!

Hello everyone! We are back from our honeymoon, and near our laptops again, so the blogging may commence. I can’t wait to tell you all what we did on our adventure!

However, we are packing mom off to Denver today, so I will write on the wedding and honeymoon tomorrow.

However, I wanted to share my news with everyone….


I am a bona fide licensed attorney!!

It has been a long road, thanks to all who have been on it with me.