Tag Archives: chronicpain

Heavy Lifting…

I’m going to start this by saying I am in no way suicidal and I am in the care of a very good therapist.

Okay, now that’s out of the way; I’m really fucking tired.

Do you have any idea how heavy a lift it is to get up every single morning of your life feeling like you fell down the stairs and still just get on with living?

I never wake up rested and spry, I never open my eyes and feel good, I never greet the day with fresh excitement.

Every single day is a struggle to overcome the very real, very intense physical weight of the pain my body has decided is my constant companion.

I’m really tired of it.

I’m tired of opening my eyes and feeling the pain flood in.

I’m tired of becoming aware of the pain in my head, neck, fingers, toes, back, hips, legs, arms, etc.

I’m tired of getting up anyway.

It’s such a heavy lift, this pain of mine. Finding joy, cheer, motivation when it’s pressing down on me all the time is a full time constant choice. Not despairing when I am never allowed a moment’s respite is hard fucking work.

I don’t want to give up on life but goddamn some times I want to give in. Fall apart, crumble, collapse, stay in bed for weeks, months, years. Not get dressed, not eat, not shower or plunge or write or paint or walk the dog. Because making the choice to do all those things with the pain along for the ride is really, really hard.

I’ve been doing it for so long and I’m only 50.

I have so much farther to go.

Thank you for listening. I’m really feeling it tonight.

The awkwardness of my socializing.

My body’s absolute dislike of all fragrances makes going out into public a bit more harrowing than you might consider.

See, manufactured scents – those you find in perfumes, colognes, body washes, laundry, air fresheners, cleaning supplies, candles, and pretty much anything everywhere ever – make me sick. Sitting in a room with a single scented candle burning for just a few minutes causes my headache to creep up from mildly irritating to “Some large mammal is attempting to step on your temples just now”.

So you can imagine, this comes up a lot.

AND I HATE IT.

Because now I am THAT woman.

Oh you know her. She comes into the room and immediately asks you if you mind blowing out every lovely scented candle you set out for your fall themed party. Then she sits close to the open window for the next half hour. She also holds her breath in elevators when you wear too much perfume, and even washes her face and arms in the bathroom if you hug her and it rubs off or she rolls down every window in your UBER when you decide to liberally douse it in smelly disinfectant.

She’s INVASIVE. She pushes her needs in front of your carefully designed plans and decor and personal hygiene choices.

And I have to be her because suffering in silence isn’t an option. Prolonged exposure means days of misery for me so instead I head it off by heaping misery on you.

Or that’s how it feels to me.

I am sure most people are willingly blowing out candles or – at worst – are mildly put out when I have requests about these things but it feels like I am being the bossiest, most demanding, most obnoxious woman on Earth.

It makes it so hard to leave the house.

It’s not just preparing to socialize and mask pain around people I love, it’s having the strength and readiness to encounter threats to my physical well being all over the place and demand they be put away for my comfort.

Which is why, the older I get, the more I choose to curl up in my comfy cave and hide here forever. Like a cranky Goblin.

Breathe in…

Every morning I awaken into a body that turns on it’s systems – an inevitable pain signals – in a slow and drowsy way. I come to full consciousness about the same time my headache comes fully online, the pound-pound-pound in the back of my skull as familiar to me as breathing.

Then I notice the light streaming in the window, whether it’s soft or bright, shadowed by storm clouds or shifting from wind through spring leaves.

Most mornings there is a soft, wet dog nose pushed impatiently against my face, snuffles and softness rousing me from sleep. Sometimes there is a hot cup of coffee and the warm, firm hand of my husband on my shoulder as the mattress dips with his weight beside me.

I eventually make it downstairs and out to the cold plunge where a few rude seconds of shockingly cold sensation relax into 10 or so minutes of soaking while I watch the birds fly to and from the branches and the feeders or listen to the squirrels tell off the chickadees.

I watch the dappled sunlight and feel the breeze and let the cold, icy water sink into my bones as I contemplate another day in a body that spends as much time trying to kill me as it does trying to live.

I rise, and often as not rinse in the hose, showering off with garden friendly shampoo and conditioner in my swimsuit so my brand new pussy-willow tree can have more water.

I notice the small changes in the temperature, the birds, the season. I hear my neighbors call out to my pets in their porch window as I rest. I hear the sounds of the neighborhood, dogs, music, sirens, people.

It passes over me, through me, around me.

On good days I find occupation; cleaning, shopping, cooking, organizing, arranging, pet-washing, walking, physical therapy, art, candle making, sewing. On bad days I find distraction; reading, t.v., movies, art, sewing.

I tire, always sooner than I want to. My energy lags, my aches intensify. My body gives me the signals I ignore at my peril and I set down whatever I am doing and begin to end the day.

Breathe out.

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