I had my nerve conduction study yesterday. Man that fucking hurts. I didn’t expect it to feel good, they jam a thin needle deep into your muscle and then tests it’s impluses at a relaxed state and an active state. So they basically stab you and ask you to move. Ow.

All last night I had my hands wrapped in thermapacks, hoping the heat would relax my freaking out muscles. It’s helped a little.

I hope they come back to me and tell me nothing much is wrong. The doctor was very interested in my left arm, apparantly it had some off reactions, but being liability shy she wouldn’t tell me what she thought until she got an MRI and a chance to better review the results.

I am off to soak my hands, they hurt too much for much typing today.

Betty Crocker meets Ruth Bader Ginsberg…

After spending two weeks networking nearly every day and sending my information out into the universe I finally got a chance to get several solid hours to work. Unfortunately I spent those hours wrestling with the Lexis-Nexis electronic case filing system instead of writing and researching my Lizard complaint. I need an assistant (and a housekeeper, chef, nanny, paralegal, and personal trainer.) It would appear that mac using attorney’s like myself (a designation I think only makes me a sexier attorney) create really huge documents when we scan to PDF. Gargantuan really.

My 8 and a half by 11 filing was blown up to 30 by 70 inches by the time my scanner was finished with it. Best of all, my filing was rejected over and over again for size. “File scanned in too large” was the error the clerk kept sending back to me. (The clerk may not know how to use a zoom in button.)

So, like any intrepid entrepreneur I boldly Googled “how to reduce the size of a scanned PDF image”. Happily instructions were easily found: Go to the Tools Menu, select Adjust Size. Great! That should be easy!

Oh. You mean the Adjust Size that is greyed out and inaccessible in my Tools Menu. Just great.

Many hours later, after accessing every single section of my HP Scan Pro application and settings several times, I had an 8 and a half by 11 file. (Only when I scan to PDF Image though, not when I scan to PDF anything else.) Of course, then the file was too big, MB wise. Lexis Nexis only allows 1.5 MB per document in their e-file system. My scanner, diligent little assistant it is, would only produce legible copies that were too large, or illegible ones that were small enough.

After much time I discovered I could create a ridiculously large and high quality scanned file, and then reduce it to a slightly more than barely readable state with the Reduce File Size quartz filter option under the Save As portion in the Preview application. (Say that 10 times fast.)

So I e-filed one of my cases today. Finally. Yay.

Then it was off to parent teacher conferences where Monkey’s hard work, dilligence, and generous nature was touted by all her teachers. She is a rock star, she is going awesome in most things and really well in everything else. All the teacher’s love her. We are very, very proud.

Which is why I ended my evening making 36 miniature apple pie muffins from scratch for her class Halloween party. What can I say, I asked her what she would rather have at her Halloween party, candy or muffins. She said both. (I am touched.) Then she begged me to make them. Her Dad added to the celebration by bringing home ice cream and waffle cones for dessert. We toasted Monkey’s educational success with Vanilla Orange Cream ice cream and Java Chip with caramel. Mmmmm.

Now, I am going to bed. Tomorrow I have a particularly painful, science fictionesque medical procedure to endure, and I am going to need my sleep.

Weekly Winners, furball edition.

Sorry it’s been a while since joining in the fun, there has been much to do these days that I haven’t been out much with my camera!! I did manage to catch each memeber of the cat portion of my menagerie, in all their furry glory, so I thought I would share some fur!!

Sigh, yes you can take another picture of me.
Sigh, yes you can take another picture of me.
I know I am beautiful.
I know I am beautiful.
What are you up to exactly?
What are you up to exactly?
I wish I could sleep like that.
I wish I could sleep like that.

For more Weekly Winners visit here.

For more of my Weekly Winners visit here.

Crickets… and lizards.

Starting a practice is a truly demoralizing process. Realistically I know that I am not going to get phone calls for clients immediately, and that it will take time for me to get my name out there. I know this. However, after sending out information, emailing virtually everyone I know, and calling contacts for ideas and informational interviews, it’s hard not to take the silence personally.

Scree scree chirp

Well, not silence really, imaginary crickets. You know, the sound they play in movies when comedians make a joke and all you hear is a cricket in the background, indicating they suck.

I am hearing crickets. chirp scree

However, I am not giving the crickets a place to stay. Yesterday I began calling and emailing family law attorneys who do CFI work and pestering them for more informational interviewing. Maybe, just maybe, this will amount to a little overflow. I also began the process of accepting cases representing respondant parents in abuse cases. Not something I would normally want to do, but the good G.A.L.’s I know tell me to do it, so I can maintain a realistic view of the human side of parents, and better serve children in the long run. So…. I did it.

In the meantime, I accepted another environmental law case, this one filing for protection of the Dunes Sagebrush Lizard. It’s pretty darn cute, fairly shy, and won’t travel far from it’s natal shrub, which I find oddly endearing. (Click on the picture for your Wikipedia entry on my little critter.)

Dunes Sagebrush Lizard, photo from Adventure, posted by accorie 05-21-2008
Dunes Sagebrush Lizard, photo from Adventure, posted by accorie 05-21-2008

Well, it’s off to a limping, loping, stumbling start, but it’s off. A practice, of my own. Working in my jammies, with the sound of Disney’s Little Einsteins in the background. Bliss.

Now if only it would pay…

That doorjamb came out of nowhere!!


Seriously, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your genitalia forever, OU-fucking-CH!!

This morning, when I managed to dislocate my pinky toe on the doorjamb to my bathroom, I hopped about with my foot in my hands cursing a blue streak, once I got my breath back sufficient to form curses. It came out of no where, that doorjamb, I was minding my own slightly hungover business when SLAM!, that fucking doorjamb jumped right in front of my foot.

After two hours of intense, it goes to 11, pain I went to the ER and was subjected to x-rays from a very apologetic tech. At some point during the trip to the ER the toe was relocated somehow, reducing the pain to about a 4, and leaving behind swelling and bruising. So I get tape, and a very fashionable shoe, for a week.

Thanks a lot doorjamb, see if you get anything in your stocking this year!!

What a way to start year 33!

Last night, which we shall call pre-toe dislocation, was wonderful though. I got to celebrate my birth with many lovely friends at the Rock Bottom Brewery, as the bar I had chosen has been closed for renovations for about three months. (oops.) I was gifted with chocolate, beer, shirts, lotions, motherpucker lip gloss, garden grown squash, and handmade cards. Best of all I was gifted with time. Many of the people I love took the time to come and toss back a drink with me. Given how busy everyone is, I count myself blessed beyond imagination. We tossed a few bucks in the jukebox (okay, the computerized music player) and danced between pool tables to some old school hits, we reminisced about parties we enjoyed over 17 years ago, and we made fun of Sarah Palin (the ultimate liberal party game. Come to think of it, the ultimate anyone’s party game.)

I even got to hang all night with Coni, who had just finished her national exams and needed to unwind. It was a true gift, as she and I hadn’t had the time to swill away an evening together in over a decade. An hour or two a month at the most, that has been our time for each other over the years as work, school, and family filled in the spaces between dawn and dusk. Last night I got her for 5 hours. It was awesome.

I think I have throughly celebrated my palindromic birthday. I look forward to the year to come.