Why can’t I leave the house on time in the morning?
Maybe it’s because I have a bad habit of failing to set my alarm some mornings, though this can’t be entirely at fault as my Kitten Alarm climbs on my head and begins to purr anywhere from an hour to twenty minutes before I would hear my actual alarm anyway.
Okay, it could be that once I am awake, it takes an act of god to get the small person motivated enough to dress and eat. Even today, when she was very self sufficient and got herself dressed in the first five minutes of the morning, there were a series of child delays that struck the timeliness off our morning.
After clothes have been donned but before the application of shoes and socks:
Monkey : Mommy, it’s Easter!!
Me: No sweetie, easter is in March.
Monkey: But Mommy, Papa said on the phone it was easter.
Me: Well honey, Papa was wrong, easter is in March.
Monkey: Oh, that’s in three days, right?
Me: No honey, it’s in three months. Could you please finish getting dressed and ready for school?
Monkey: Okay mommy!!
Five Minutes Later…
Monkey: Mommy, when I was asleep last night, I felt a dark shadow over me!
(At this moment I was struck with the images of a thousand horror movies watched while a young adult…. in retrospect, not such a good influence on my imagination after all.)
Me: refocused on child Are your teeth brushed?
Monkey: It was the easter bunny I think!!
Me: Honey, easter isn’t for another three months, you probably felt the cat. Have you brushed your teeth?
Monkey: It wasn’t the cat Mommy!! It was a dark shadow and I think it was the easter bunny.
Me: Monkey. You need to brush your teeth, once you are completely ready for school and eating your breakfast, then you can tell me all about the dark shadow.
Monkey: Okay mommy!!
Is it me, or is there an inherent ability in children to have flights of fancy any time you are already running late? Where the heck did all this easter stuff come from anyway? Argh!!
Of course, once she was at the table fully ready for school she was too busy kicking the table leg, banging the tabletop, and talking about the dark shadow of the impending easter bunny to actually consume enough food to last her until lunch. Which means I will hear from her teacher that she complained of a tummy ache for the hour before lunch.
Do you think the teacher will believe her tummy ache was caused by easter bunny anxiety?