Oh my god was that awful!
No one was mean, no one was unprofessional, but they didn’t ask me anything substantive, and they spent the whole interview making me defend my experience.
“The sky is blue” they would say.
“I like blue” Said I.
“”No, the sky is green.” they would say.
“Well, I suppose I could see some green in the sky, under certain circumstances.” Said I.
“Green is bad.” Said they.
They asked me how I thought my past experience would help in the position, and then intensely dissected my answers. If I said I thought my attention to detail and ability to create a story to surround the facts and elements was a benefit they would respond by telling me I wouldn’t have time to pay attention to any detail or weave any stories. If they said many people were exhausted by the amount of time spent with people, and I said I was a people person and really enjoyed the energy, they would say I would not have any time to spend with people and would instead be an island unto myself.
Worst of all, they kept telling me that most of the people who had a background like mine couldn’t cut it. They told me one person quit after a single day. Then they asked me how I felt about that! They said they didn’t want to waste their time on training up someone who was just going to leave because they couldn’t hack it.
I was almost at the point of telling them that short of whipping out a crystal ball and predicting where I was 6 years down the road I couldn’t tell them more than I will do my best, and I think I would be very good at it.
I cut out the crystal ball part.
Well, at least I have finally had my first serious legal interview, and will know in the future what to expect. Of course, I will likely never interview again, and will instead devote my life to making googly eyed hats with dripping madibles and selling them on ebay.