time keeps ticking, ticking, ticking away…

nearing 34, only one day left to go.
I have eaten office birthday cake.
I have been sung to, off-key, twice.
I enjoyed an unexpected handmade gift from a new friend.
I have mopped up after my incontinent dog six times since coming home two hours ago.*
I have blown out two candles.
I have cleaned up spilled milk twice.
I have eaten brownie cake from my mother and daughter and am decked out in new jewelry.
I wiped two faces and a nose.
I have responded to a work email.
I accepted tickets to an ACLU fundraiser and will spend my birthday in a business suit listening to an acceptance speech by Diana DiGette. The thought of this pleases me.

I am not feeling young and irresponsible.

I have spent most of my adult life feeling like a child caught playing dress up in my mother’s shoes. Feeling I don’t know enough to fill the roles I found myself in. Too young to take good enough care of small children, too new to take care of my clients effectively, too inexperienced to be an advocate, to silly to be taken seriously.

This year I feel old enough to take care of the world.

How can that possibly be a good thing?

————————————————
* make that nine times since coming home 5 hours ago.

Many hours and episodes of 30Rock later (I had to do something to prevent me from getting nightmares from reading “The Dark Half.”)…

I think this is the first “holy fuck” birthday year.
I am turning fucking thirty four. 34. 3-4! What the fuck is up with that? I am not 34 years old! At max I am like 30. I am totally okay with being thirty. It’s a sexy, smart, woman of the world kind of age. 34 is having to watch how much you drink because you’ll actually get a fucking hangover after three seasonal beers. It’s continuing to eat the god damned office doughnuts while reminding yourself that your jeans don’t fit as well at they used to and actually deciding that you don’t care. 34 is chin hair. Chin hair. That’s right, 34 is watching in growing horror as your tweezers, once used only to shape your eyebrows, begin to move about the rest of your face and body in a complicated tour de force before leaving a shocking pile of small hairs on the bathroom sink. It’s buying contour wear and then convincing yourself it actually does make your clothes look better on you instead of going to the gym.

I am not handling this birthday well.

This morning things look brighter…

Maybe 34 is going to be my year. Maybe it’s coming to terms with all the responsibilities I have and deciding I am equal to them. Maybe the fact that I can no longer think off the extra calories is an opportunity to exercise more and get into better sahpe. I used to exercise all the time but have become remarkably sedentary since law school. This could be the year for me to carve out time for my health.

And everyone knows bearded women are damned sexy, how bad can chin hair actually be?

Blogger Action Day: Climate Change

In response to Blog Action Day today I would like to share a victory from one of my favorite organizations, WildEarth Guardians, whose members work tirelessly to keep our air and water clean and to protect our wild places and species.

One of the many pieces in our patchwork of environmental legislation is the Clean Air Act. The Clean Air Act (CAA), in part, requires the EPA to identify air pollutants that are a danger to the welfare of the public and adopt nationally uniform ambient air quality standards. With an eye towards meeting those standards the CAA requires states to prepare and submit implementation plans that outline specific measures designed to assure the air quality within each state meets the national air quality standards. The CAA also requires that states whose air quality does not meet the national standards prevent significant deterioration of their already sub-par air quality.

Recently the EPA, in response to a petition from WildEarth Guardians, issued a new ruling that will dramatically and positively effect the quality of our air. Prior to this ruling Colorado failed to aggregate its oil and gas emissions, allowing pollution at a significantly higher level than should be permitted under the purview of the Clean Air Act, the Colorado state implementation plan, and the federal and state prevention of significant deterioration guidelines (PSD). Oil and gas operations consist of hundreds to thousands of component parts, and each one emits pollutants into the atmosphere. The gas drilling operation in question, for example, consists of several gas wells adjacent to a compressor station that takes the mined gas and compresses the gas for transportation through pipelines. The oil and gas companies have long acted as though each well is a single source of pollution and may emit under the permit without violating the overall permit limits. However, none of the gas pumped out of these wells would be usable for its intended purpose without the compressor station. Therefore it has been long argued that the compressor station, the gas wells, and the pipeline connecting them are interdependent and therefore should qualify as a major stationary source using the criteria set out in the federal and state PSD regulations. Without this aggregation each individual part may pollute within the guidelines of the CAA permits but when aggregated a oil and gas operation pollutes well outside the limits of the permits, significantly harming the air quality in the west and adding to our smog, environmental decline, and respiratory health problems. This rampant uncontrolled polluting contributes to the degradation of our nation’s air quality and does little to assist in our efforts to deter environmental harm and handle the coming climate change.

Under the new EPA ruling these individual component parts will be treated like a single emissions source and this continued violation of the spirit of the Clean Air Act will stop. It is expected that Colorado will see a significant decrease in air emissions, up to ninety percent. This ruling is a huge victory for air quality.

Inundated…

I can’t get free. I am trapped under piles of sloppy baby kisses, inquisitive answer seeking, purring furball love, and barking madness.
Everywhere I look there is someone who needs to be taken care of.
Every day there are countless messes to clean up.

Sometimes I feel burdened by my blessings.