Stitches…

The Bloggess had me in stitches tonight. Her interactions with her hubby remind me so much of the way conversations between my husband and I go, in my head.

More importantly she brought me here, to a magical place where all my inner snarkiness can find a deserving outlet.*

I have been laughing so damn hard ever since.

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I think what really gets me about this Etsy item is the “mature” in the title.

Some days it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps…

It’s Monday.

It started with a kick in the head from Otter. Actually it started with several kicks in the head. It would seem walking his feet up my back and dropping them on my face is the new alarm clock.

My new alarm clock doesn’t listen to reason. It doesn’t care that it is waking me up a full hour before it is supposed to, it does it anyway.

Monday continued with screaming as Otter stridently demanded we wake up and bring him downstairs. I am thinking he is sleeping in his own bed from now on.

Downstairs we were greeted with dogshit by the front door and dog pee on the couch. It would seem our incontinent dog decided to climb over the coffee table placed on the couch to restrict her access to it, so she could sit on the back of the couch and pee all over it. We have a couch cover and a waterproof cover inside so the couch isn’t ruined, but it is a giant pain in the ass.

By the time we cleaned up the shit and removed the couch cover she had already peed in the kitchen.

Now Otter is sitting in the middle of the freshly mopped floor screaming “Help me!” because he wants me to come pick him up.

Where the fuck is Tuesday already?