All posts by Savvy Spoonie

I am an artist, writer, jeweler, and a Spoonie. Before becoming a Spoonie I was a very busy high achieving attorney and advocate bent on saving the world. Now I'm struggle to redefine my life to fit within my reduced energy level. Some days are better than others. I have fibromyalgia, trigeminal neuralgia, and chronic daily migraine.
grief

AFGO

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Sometimes life kicks you in the teeth. Then it smacks you on the head, thwacks you in the bum, and punches you in the gut.
I know, I know, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” (Unless, as Lee adamantly puts it, it F&*%ing cripples you.)
Well I would like a little less strength of character, and while you are at it, fewer character strengthening opportunities. At least for a little while.
Why am I ranting about life being evil and cruel? Let me tell you!
The last time we came to Denver it was on the heels of the death of my close friend, and the near death of Lee’s mother.
This time, it was for a happy visit and a wedding. Oh, and the near death of Lee’s mother.

Yes, Mom is back in the hospital, this time in the burn unit at University, having been pulled from a fire in her apartment. (Yes, she is the woman who was in the apartment fire at the senior facility that has been all over the news today.) She is not well. We will not know if she will pull through. The doctors say we should know more about her chances in the next 72 hours. She has burns on 30% of her body. Her quality of life will be incredibly diminished if she survives this. She will likely experience chronic pain. We will go see her tomorrow, we couldn’t face it before going to the wedding today.

We don’t know what happened. There are rumors being bandied about that the fire was started by a cigarette, but she was an avid anti-smoker who suffered from COPD. I had seen her earlier in the week, and as an ex-smoker myself, I can tell you there was no trace of the smell of cigarette smoke on her during our visit. I just can’t see her picking up the habit now. So really, who knows how the fire started. I hope we can get some answers from the Fire Marshal.

It’s just so sad. I am so sad for my husband, and for his mother, and for the people who were hurt trying to help her. I am so confused as to what happened, and what will happen now. I am worried about her. I am worried about him.

So I find myself, once again, facing tough choices and hard emotions. As my dearly departed godmother would say: It’s an AFGO. (Another F&%$ing growth opportunity.)
Personally, I feel my friends and family have had enough of them this year.

Connection, Love and Marriage

And now I can relax…

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Lee and I are at the point in our marriage where we have little to say to each other on the phone, but we miss each other terribly when we are apart.
This makes travel very hard. We like have the other person on the end of line, but can’t think of much to say after we have shared our day’s activities and expressed our love. It makes the distance seem so much more profound than it would if we had a lot of gossip to share. We don’t though. We know all of each other’s stories of our pre-together times, or at least most of the stories, and the stories that have occurred since we got together feature both of us, so we certainly don’t have to talk about them.
Add to this mess the fact that both of us hate the phone, and you have a couple who spend a lot of time listening to each other breathe, simply to have the connection.

Happily, I no longer have to listen to him breathe on the phone to feel closer to him, as he is here!! Yup, I picked him up at DIA last night. The minute I set eyes on him I felt much of my travel stress fade away. I guess I am so used to having him around that I get antsy when we are apart.

We are here for another five days, and then it is back to the home in Jersey, and our regularly scheduled lives. I have been enjoying the visit home, but he and I agree we should avoid having weeks apart as much as possible. It is too hard.

Monkey

Thoughtfulness lasts forever…

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When my daughter turned four, my friend Tessa purchased and decorated an old trunk, then went around to all the area thrift stores and purchased small dresses and skirts, hats and shoes, and other dress up items. The result? A beautiful and well stocked dress up trunk that has served us well for the past two years.
Her thoughtfulness has lasted, not only because the items in the trunk have given us hours upon hours of fun and entertainment, but also because she taught us a precious lesson.
Do not spend twenty dollars on a Disney approved mock up dress for your child, spend twenty dollars on five size two prom dresses, and stick them in a decorative hat box or trunk.
I was reminded of this lesson today when my father ran me by the Salvation Army to look at book shelves. All of their clothes were on sale for .99 cents, and before I could blink, I found myself perusing the dress area for small gowns for Monkey to parade around in.
Soon, she will have a small, yet fun dress up trunk here at Nama’s, to play in with friends and cousins whenever we come to town. We will no longer face the travel boredom that comes with leaving all our toys behind. Instead, she will be excited to come and play in the trunk she can’t play in when she is home, as will her friends.
Thank you Tessa, for giving us a gift that has truly kept on giving.