One of the hardest things for me to do when I became chronically ill was keep a ‘chin up’ attitude. I felt put upon all the time. It was grossly unfair for me to hurt so much, to lose so much, to feel so isolated, etc. It was at it’s worse whenever I got sick or the kids got sick, or something fell apart. It felt like I was already dealing with so much why did this thing have to happen too?

It took years. I had to cancel Facebook for six months. I had to hide away from mostly everyone in my life for a while. I had to adjust to the new normal so that hurting all day every day was the baseline, and one I could actually work from.

I did it. I am here. I can smile and feel pretty damn lucky about my life even though I have chronic illnesses.

There is only one nemesis out there that still wins in the battle over my cheerfulness. The common cold.

I hate the common cold. I become a whiny put-upon little bitch when I have cold. I don’t know if it’s because a low fever makes my already achy body screamingly achy or if it’s because colds seem to bring out the small child in all of us but I cannot keep a smile on my face when I am sick.

It feels like I am being kicked when I’m already down. It’s as though I have come to terms with feeling yucky all of the time so damn it world don’t make it worse! How much yucky can one person take?

I also struggle more when I’m sick because I can’t do the minimal things I normally do, so it feels like a backwards slide into the years of being able to do very little indeed. Of course then I risk flare ups when I feel better because I have that urge to ‘make up for’ the days I missed when I was sick.

So despite years of mentally preparing myself of a very different life from the one I imagined, I am basically a puppy when it comes to colds. Nature is a big bully who just took my chew toy, kicked me in the head, and is pointing and laughing while I whimper pathetically on the ground. Viruses are jerks.

I was going to write a blog post about something but as soon as I sat down to do so the topic flew my mind.

Here I am, computer in lap, preparing to wax poetic on something pertaining to … well … something, and instead my mind is a blank slate. White. Clean. Boring.

Don’t you hate losing the ability to think? It’s making me quite insane!!

Ah yes… it’s coming back to me a little. I was going to write about things we can do to make the world a better place, even if we have little energy to leave the house. Take that fog!

I was shopping for holiday gifts when I realized I was doing two good things for the world while doing so. On AmazonSmile a portion of my purchases goes to a charity of my choice (for me it’s always the Southern Plains Land Trust) every time I buy something. I buy more Joint Comfort Tea, SPLT gets a small percentage. I buy a new hot water bottle, more money to my chosen charity. A tiny bit of good doing for absolutely no extra spoons.

Then I popped over to The Rainforest Site and started clicking the buttons. The GreaterGood store has some pretty awesome stuff that is fair trade and benefits animals, the environment, veterans, the hungry, and many more. Best of all, all you have to do is go to the website and click their pretty shiny buttons every day to make a difference. You can go further and do your shopping there to increase your impact but if you don’t you still make a difference.

These got me thinking about FreeRice.com, where you can practice your vocabulary and stretch your brain (which I obviously need) while donating rice to the hungry. For free. You can do it in other languages too, which is how I started practicing my Spanish.

So there, three things you can do from your bed while you feel like shit to make the world a better place. If you can remember to.

Now where did I put my phone…

It’s been a hellish week here in Colorado. Fall has officially fallen and with it comes the inevitable pressure change induction flare-ups. I’ve been rendered pretty much useless for a week now, which begs the question, what the hell do I do to manage the pain since I am not taking lots of medication?

Here are my tips and tricks for managing a high pain flare-up:

Stop fighting the pain.

Have you ever been to the ocean or in a water park wave pool? You know how you can be standing up in the water pretty balanced until you get just deep enough that the combination of undertow and waves will knock you on your ass, every single time? Pain is like that too. The harder I fight the pain the more exhausted I get. Instead, I try to float on top of it, just like waves in the ocean. I go limp, I relax, and I imagine myself riding the waves. The better I am at this the more I can push the pain into the background.

Now, if the pain is above a 7 I am not going to be able to do much other than relax and push it into the background. This technique takes a lot of mental energy and can be very exhausting so it’s not a coping mechanism that allows for a full plate of activities. I can use the technique when the pain is lower and work and such, but not when it’s really bad.

Movement is my friend. 

Lying in bed is bad. My fibromyalgia pretty much makes my legs, hips, shoulders, ankles, and arms hurt after a normal night’s sleep so spending the whole day in bed isn’t a good idea. I move around. I have two 3 pound weights next to my bed that I use while I am watching t.v. I do curls, triceps, whatever I can to keep moving around. I also have a solid memory foam knee pillow I use at night to sleep. During the day I place it between my feet and slowly squeeze it. I also try to walk the dog every day.

Ice Ice Baby. 

Nothing is better than an ice pack on the back of my skull. I’m pretty sure I have signs of frostbite under my hair because of the amount I time I spend icing.

Binge watching t.v. is good.

I have a few favorite movies and shows I go back to when I am desperate and need to fall into a story but yet am not able to pay much attention to it. However, the rest of the time I like to pick a new show and watch several seasons of it. This allows me to lose track of the amount of time I have been in pain.

Treats. 

I’m currently on a diet so I can lose enough wait to have breast reduction surgery. (Yes, I am giving in to the wisdom that having less for my back and neck to carry might help my headaches.) As a result I am pretty strict about calorie intake most of the time. Unless I am in the middle of a several days to week+ long flare. After a couple of days I am looking for anything that will make me feel emotionally better so I can best withstand the onslaught.

Yesterday it was a GF pecan pie from Whole Foods. I ate half of it throughout the day. It’s all I ate, there was nothing remotely nutritionally redeeming about it, and it helped me feel pampered. I am pro-treat.

Tiny, fun tasks. 

I get squirrely after several days of zero accomplishments. I start to get panicky about being stuck like this forever and of course panic makes it all worse. So, I try to do small fun things that are on my to-do list. For example, today I set up a few of my Halloween decorations. It took about an hour, with lots of rests in between, but at the end I had enough up to feel I had done something, I got out of my room and into the rest of the house, and I had a bit of fun.

There are more tips and tricks I use but for now I am going to get off the computer and back to distracting myself with “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”. Best of luck to the rest of you, I hope you are not dealing with flares. If you are, you are not alone.