Category Archives: Law

Cats, Mussels, Insects, and the air you breathe….

Environmental law is a strange legal creature. I like to imagine it looks a little like a hybrid car would ten to fifteen years in the future, still in pretty good shape, but with some parts held together with duct tape here and there. Our environmental laws require businesses to clean up the toxic messes they made in the past, even though it used to be legal to make them, prevent business and government from making them in the future,  protect and recover species from extinction, try to prevent or at least unravel the mess that is environmental racism and inequity in this country, lower the particulate matter in our air and clear the toxins from our water, to name a few.

The hodge podge series of laws that make up our nation’s envrionmental legal arena often seem hobbled together, in part because they were. Many of the laws were written in haste and enacted in response to seeming environmental disasters during the Nixon administration. They often refer to each other, instead of being whole laws unto themselves, requiring those who practice environmental law to flip between statutes to get the exact meaning of certain terms and conditions.

But they are, I believe anyway, fun.

Which is why my summer will be spent fighting on behalf of some cats, some mussels, some beetles, and the air we breathe. Sound like a party to you?

The guest list is a distinguised one, as the U.S. Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar will be invited to dance with me at each and every one of my shindigs, well, everyone but the Clean Air Act case, I think that one gets to go to someone else. I will find out soon.

My first case goes live on the 18th. Once the press release goes live, I will copy it here so you all can read up on it.

An Epileptic Lawyer walks into a courtroom…

I went to court today for a hearing and nothing unusual happened during the hearing!!

I didn’t have a seizure, my face didn’t twitch or flutter, I didn’t have trouble focusing or staying awake, and I wasn’t unfocused or forgetting half the words in the English language!!

Of course, the second it was over my blood sugar crashed, my right thumb started to spasm and my face began it’s wierd little muscle dance but during the stressful and emotionally charged hearing itself I held it together!! Thank god!! I was so afraid I was going to go into court and have a moment where my face twitched just visibly enough that the Judge thought I was laughing at her.

“Counselor. Do you find something amusing?”asks the woman in the flowing black robes as she holds my clients future in her hands.

“No your Honor, I apologize, I’m Epileptic and my medication causes odd and unfortunately timed facial twitching. I swear I am not laughing at you.”

I could barely sleep last night as images of this and other side effect related issues flooded my imagination. I was so stressed out this morning on my way in. I so rarely appear in court these days anyway, as most of my practice is settlement, that appearing in court under these circumstances just seemed really unduly stressful.

Not only did I not fall apart and seize uncontrollably in reaction to the added stress, I kicked ass in the hearing too.

Today is a good day.

Mixing cardstock and the practice of law…

I never thought my addiction to scrapbooking would be a useful problem solving tool in my law practice but today, it was.

Tomorrow I have clients arriving to formally execute my first Last Will and Testament. After agonizing over the legality of it all and insuring that nothing is getting past their wishes, I sat at my desk staring at the neatly typed language and feeling sad that word processing has taken the fanfare out of trusts and estates. I remembered my T&E professor gently reminding us that our clients would likely only ever commission one will, and that we should make a big deal out of it, take our time with the formal execution, and go through a little drama with the finalization of the document.

Now, larger firms can afford to send their wills out for fancy binding, but I charge my clients about a fourth of market cost for a will, so I really, really can’t.

Which is why I suddenly found myself in the scrapbooking aisle of Hobby Lobby eyeballing a lovely grey linen cardstock and a watermark stamp pad. Hmmm….

It turns out the fancy binding the larger law firms pay for can be mimicked by some heavy high quality card stock, a little bit of glue, and some time. Add to that a custom watermark on each page and suddenly my clients are getting the custom touch the ABC’s firms give them, for about two thousand dollars less. Who knew my scrapbooking addiction would be such a help to me in my new venture?

I am sure, like all my scrapbooking experiences, this particular project will only evolve with time. I am already imagining having my logo made into a custom stamp and watermarking all my legal documents with the office logo. But really, for the first will ever, I have just produced a formally bound, professional document, with a little bit of flair.

It looks nothing like a term paper, it looks nothing like a word document. It’s printed on 24 pound linen paper, and bound with thick linen cardstock. I even designed a case for it, so they can tuck it safely away in their safe deposit box.

Best of all, I got to use glue and paper cutters in the practice of law. My creative side is beaming with joy.