Category Archives: Monkey

Monkey, pregnancy

It’s all about the belly…

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WARNING! The following post contains pure, unadulterated baby belly shots!! Much skin is visible, though it’s not exciting enough to get a mention on Fox.

Okay, so you have all heard how huge I am… I guess I am brave enough to share the actual images.

This is me, today, at almost 41 weeks. Monkey stayed over at Ellen and Dan’s, so we got a little dressed up and went to dinner at the Olive Garden. I know it’s a chain, but it’s a chain I can love with flavors I crave. Oh yes, and Breadsticks.

This is me in my jammies. We are frankly shocked at how large the belly has grown. My own zip code here I come!!

Here is some full frontal belly. My belly is 52 inches around at it’s proudest point! He is gonna be a big baby. Big, big baby.


I am maintaining a decent mood, thanks to Lee’s willingness to purchase the second season of Veronica Mars and have it shipped to me overnight, and his ever loving foot massaging hands. Yay foot massages! The very pregnant woman’s very best friend!!

We meet with the Doctor on Monday. If I have not gone into labor before then, we will discuss a “plan” for induction. I will try and put it off as long as possible, but even so, the baby will be had on or around tax day at the very latest.

And now onto some cute Monkey pictures, she has been growing a lot too! She is doing very well in school, is in the top reading group in her class, and is constantly scoring perfect scores on her tests, of which they have many. (I don’t remember tests in Kindergarten. Does anyone else?)

Here she is with Lily Jane. She was such a patient little girl. She just loved holding this little bundle of joy!!

Here she is on her way to school a few says ago, all dressed up with poofy hairballs and clippy’s. Her newest favorite word is “totally”. As in, “They are totally the cutest hair ties ever mom, Totally.”

She was very disappointed that I did not go into labor on Sunday, but seems to have recovered now. We are resting, cleaning, and preparing for the baby. She is on Spring Break this week, so I am going to try my very best to get up and about with her. Ice cream shop visits, walks on the beach, maybe even kite flying. We shall see.

grief, Monkey, parenting, pregnancy

Alien refuses to leave mothership…

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Still no baby here, though his family is certainly enjoying the alien moments created by his wiggles. He loves to give me crooked belly, and alien belly, and stick his foot out, etc. I can only be pregnant for so long before he gets here, so I am trying to be mellow about it all.

This weekend I was teasing Monkey by telling her that chocolate milk came from dark brown and light brown spotted cows from Wisconsin. She did not believe me and used the following phrase to create a majority over her father and I: “All of my stuffies and toys that have two eyes agree with me, so I win.”

What could we say against that? It was a fairly compelling argument.

Today I went to the outlet mall with Ellen and Tiff and spent an obscene amount of money on a new summer wardrobe for a certain tall beauty whose most recent growth spurt rendered her current clothing stockpile virtually useless. She was appreciative. Oddly, while she is hugely independent on everything else, she is fine with me picking out her clothes. I guess they simply don’t matter they much to her, or I have really good taste. I will go with the latter.

She and I both had a hard time with Nick’s death today, I spent the early morning hours awake again, pacing the house and trying to stop dreaming about him. No nightmares this time, just dreams of the time we spent together before he died. Sadly, they wake me up as much as the nightmares do, since even in my sleep I seem to realize something is wrong and that realization pulls me from rest. I am becoming very friendly with the hours between 2 and 5 am.

Monkey spent the last half hour of her school day in tears, crying about how much she misses him. Unfortunately, she had a substitute, and she really didn’t know what to do. I explained the situation again when I got to school and then made hot cocoa when we got home and we snuggled a little. Still, it is hard to explain this to her, because at 31 I don’t know when I will begin to feel normal again, so how can I set expectations for my 5 year old?

I still feel like some kind of friendship amputee, I can still feel my friend, I can hear him, and I keep waiting for him to call me. He is never far from my thoughts, and it is very hard to get through a whole day without crying, or really wanting to, at least once. I haven’t slept well in days. So how do I explain to Monkey that missing him is okay, feeling sad is okay, but being happy and forgetting about him is okay too? That she shouldn’t be completely morose about his death? She doesn’t have to remember him all the time in order to mourn him?

Hard conversations at our house lately. Tonight she asked if Nick was a ghost, I told her I didn’t know. She said “I hope he is, because I really want to see him again.” I suggested she talk to him, and told her some people believe people can hear us after they have passed away. She is currently in her room talking away, shedding some tears and hopefully learning how to cope. She is too small and too young to have to cope with this. He was a wonderful friend to her, I wish she had not lost him so early. Really big feelings are very scary and hard to deal with when one is so small.

Of course, this is hard to deal with even when one is big, so I can only try my best to answer her questions honestly, and be open to talking about him. That is the hardest part, whenever I seem to be having a day when he is not constantly on my mind, she brings him up, and there I am again, feeling like I could almost touch him, or hear him, and having to remember he is gone.

Monkey, pregnancy

Nesting…. again.

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Nesting…

I am so nesting. Yesterday I bought wood oil/soap and shined my floors with it. I swept and mopped and organized my house. Today I bought a new shelving unit and improved the cleanliness of the office.

You still can’t eat off my floors, but then, with two dogs and three cats when can you ever? Besides, whenever I sweep and mop Bella follows me through the house shaking her fur everywhere. It’s as though she needs a certain amount of her fur on the floor to feel comfortable. Sigh.

Fewer contractions today than yesterday, but the birthing tub I ordered is late in arriving so it’s a good thing that I haven’t begun to go into labor yet.

I have been on a massive shopping spree to stock up on Monkey entertainment devices for when Otter arrives. I have craft kits, paint sets, doll house toys, mini ball shooters, board games, and more. I have a box and a good portion of a shelf in my craft room designated as the “Monkey boredom prevention emergency supply center.” Additionally I have stocked a drawer in the fridge with fruit and cheese snacks she can get herself, along with juice boxes. She should be set for snacks and entertainment while we all get used to the idea of Otter being around.

It is going to be interesting, she is so good with little babies, and so patient. However, this is not a cute baby that leaves soon after arriving, this is a brother. One of those loud, stinky, obnoxious creatures who takes your toys and tells your friends embarrassing things about you. (Sorry Shane, I promise that I do not feel this way about you any longer, even if you did eat a dog biscuit in front of Vargus the first time he came to our house.) I am assuming that she will eventually feel some competitiveness or resentment towards Otter, even if she is extra good with him in the beginning.

I am attempting to lessen any sense of being left out by providing her with many a thing to do, making sure she can get snacks and treats easily, and by working with Lee to give her one on one mommy time at least once a week for a few hours. I think we will be able to make it work.

We will find out soon, even I can’t be pregnant forever!