Category Archives: Otter

Motherhood, nursing, Otter, Uncategorized

Bye bye Mama milk…

June 22, 2009 Savvy Spoonie 5 Comments

Last week Otter and I said goodbye to nursing. He was two months past his second birthday.

The decision to wean was not made lightly. He had been growing more independent for quite some time, blossoming the way breastfed babies do. Then suddenly he began to regress, demanding more and more milk, becoming less willing to eat solid foods and becoming violent and angry when I wouldn’t let him nurse. I started feeling as though keeping him on the breast was doing him more harm than good, a feeling that started inside me, and grew. One day he and I had a huge fight about nursing, and we decided, together, that it was time to stop. I told him, in one week, we say bye bye to Mama milk.

That week we snuggled a lot more, we nursed for longer periods, even though we stayed on our three times a day schedule, mornings, naptimes, and bedtime. When weaning day came, we woke up and I invited him to have as long a nurse as he wanted, because it was our bye bye to Mama milk nurse. It was a wonderful nurse. We nursed for a long time. We smiled at each other, patted each other’s cheeks, played with our hair, smiled. He would sit up and talk from time to time, and then settle back in to nurse some more. We snuggled close, took our time, really said goodbye.

Then we got up, got dressed, and went out to Target to get Otter his very first “Big Boy” toy. He picked out a plasmaglider, this very cool self propelled glider. He was very proud of it, rode it through the store, the checkout line, and under my very paranoid eye, even out to the car. He has ridden it around the house constantly ever since. He is thrilled with it, because sister even likes it, a sure sign that it is, in fact, a Big Boy toy.

This week has been surprisingly easy for my boy. We have had a few times when he has asked for milk, and then gotten sad when I have reminded him that we said goodbye to it, but for the most part he has not missed it. He has been co-sleeping again to make up for the lost closeness, and has been less willing to be away from me during the day. He has been needier. However, it seems the milk was more a comfort thing for him, than it was a source of food, as he doesn’t miss the nutrient as much as he does the snuggles.

As for me, I have found it very hard. I have not only said goodbye to nursing Otter, I have said goodbye to nursing. I have said goodbye to babyhood. I am no longer the mother of infants. All those silent moments of communication, spent staring deeply into my baby’s eyes while they greedily drink away, every swallow bringing satisfaction, knowing I am personally responsible for making them healthy and strong. All the soft, fuzzy head snuggled against my arm moments. All the hushed nursery moments. All the first balloons, and baby chortles. At thirty three years of age, that magical part of my life is behind me. Otter was my last baby.

I am on to the hustle and bustle of noisier children, busy children with questions and activities, and the certainty the Mommy doesn’t hold the world in her hand and certainly doesn’t always know what she is doing. I am on to PTO meetings and playdates, boyfriends and girlfriends, allowances and driving permits. I am on to children who don’t have time to snuggle me, and won’t want to spend an hour on Saturday morning cuddled in bed with me, just talking and playing with my hair.

Otter took well to weaning. Me, not so much.

Otter

Waer

June 7, 2009 Savvy Spoonie 3 Comments

We have baby talk.

Otter has begun to express himself in strange and adorable words the past couple of weeks.

My favorite word so far is “Waer”.

Instead of the infamous wawa that befalls most toddlers when asking for water, Otter has sounded the word out with the “t”. So he will point at a fountain and say “Waer ma sa ma! Waer!” (That’s me, Ma sa Ma, not Mama, he seems determined to do everything just slightly differently than everyone else, why do I have the sense that I am in for it in the not too distant future?)

The stopper is definitely out of his flow of words, he is coming out with new ones every day. He said nurse the other day, “what’s this”, “slide”, “lily” and more come each day. It’s funny, because he tries really hard to say each word precisely, which seems to be way he waits so long to say them. He won’t try to say a word until he has it down to almost the exact cadence, and then he’ll belt it out. It makes for some pretty amusing baby words. Such as “waer”, I suppose.

He is getting very “two” as we say, stubborn and angry at his limitations in expression. When he wants something he will grab my hands and try to make me do what he wants. If he wants to leave a place he will take my hand to the door and try to make me turn the knob. If he wants me to wipe his face he will put my hand on a napkin and then to his face. If he wants a snack he will drag me to the refrigerator, etc. It’s a very strange experience, being made into a human puppet by an angry screaming toddler.

When he gets really mad he starts kicking and hitting now, so we are trying to teach him to stop that. Of course, he is still really sensitive, so when we yell “no” he starts to cry and crumples into a ball of sodden sad baby.

We are generally getting pretty frustrated all around here.

We thought Monkey was our terrible two but it’s starting to be pretty good odds around here that she was a cakewalk compared to Otter.

A few days ago Nana picked Monkey up in her big new truck for an overnight. Everyone made a big deal out of the truck, even Monkey talked about how much better she could see from her car seat. Otter was getting really excited about the truck, but then everyone drove away, and left … him… behind. He was really upset about being left out. He stood at the window crying for about twenty minutes. He yelled at me on and off for about two hours. I told him repeatedly that he and I were going somewhere special after his nap but there was no comforting that young man. Finally he exhausted himself and fell asleep.

The minute he woke up he took his shoes to me and said “shoes.. go”. I told him we still had 30 minutes until we were meeting our friends. I ended up leaving early and cleaning out my car for fifteen minutes instead of dealing with another two year old meltdown. He finally felt better after he got to go to Stapleton’s central park with Ma sa ma and her friends, and play in the fountain, run around on the playground, stay up late, and eat pizza.

The next day when Nana dropped Monkey off she asked Otter for a kiss. He looked at her, shook his head, and walked away.

Terrible two’s here we come.

baby updates, family, Frivolity, Otter

Little Men…

April 10, 2009 Savvy Spoonie 3 Comments

Two years (and a day) ago Otter entered the world after a glorious, and screamy, natural birth. I will never forget waking up that morning, about 5:30 a.m. with the feeling that this time the contractions were different. I sat on the bed watching the light begin to filter through the little wholes left by the lace pattern in my curtains and listening to my husband snore as they got stronger and stronger. Finally, around 6:30 a.m., I woke Lee up and told him it was time. He, very sensibly, suggested we go back to sleep for a while, but really, there was no way that was happening.

We got up, called the doctor, and went in to see him before I even got a solid breakfast under my lack of a belt. He checked me out and encouraged me to go to the hospital. I calmly explained that we were going to go home and walk around for a while first, because I wanted to be home as long as possible, per my doula’s instructions. He encouraged me to go to the hospital. I told him I would begin to head over there after I had a nice leisurely breakfast with my family, so I had the energy to sustain my labor. He told to me go the the hospital right away.We left his office around 8 a.m.

We began to head over, and halfway there my contractions had sped up to five minutes apart. By the time Lee got the birthing tub set up, they were under four. The hot water felt so good and relaxed me considerably. Over the next nine or so hours I spent most of my time listening to music, soaking in the tub, and dancing in the hallways with hubby as we waited for Otter to come. I stole some of his chinese beef sticks, drank some water, and got increasingly interested in what was happening “downstairs”.

Finally, I was sick of the tub, sick of the music, and generally sick of everyone, a clear indication it was time. I got up on the bed, and after a very long, to me anyway, period of time I managed to deliver an 11 pound, 6 ounce Otter. There was screaming and cursing and breathing, requests to turn on/up/off the music, and one awful moment when the urge to push stopped just as he was crowning, making me completely aware of exactly how much my body was going through. There was also this absolute certainty that every woman who had birthed a child before me was lined up behind me, stretching back to the first mother, urging me on. All my ancestors, all my sisters, all the women in time. I let go in that moment, felt lifted beyond my stressed out body and pain, and out he came. He was born a little after 5:30 p.m., twelve hours after I began to suspect his imminent arrival.

When they put him on my stomach I “oof’d” just a little at his weight. I remember thinking what a solid little guy he was. He didn’t have piles of babyfat, like he would develop later, but seemed to be all strength and muscle. A little man on my tummy, purple and wrinkly, waiting for his blood flow to pink him up. We got to cuddle for over an hour while they cleaned us up, then he was wheeled away for baby testing stuff and I was wheeled away for a shower, a meal, and recovery. Lee, bless his heart, was left to clean up the birthing tub.

Another memory of that day, clear as glass, is our first night together. Lee had taken Marlena home and Otter and I were in the hospital room, each in our little bed, side by side. I could look between the handles on my bed and see into his cradle. We lay there for hours, staring at each other through the glass, hand in hand, simply gazing. I fell in love.

Now, this little man is two years old. He can sign in full sentences, having decided that speaking, though possible, isn’t nearly as cute and effective as sign. He can eat perfectly with a fork and spoon, knows how to work the remotes on the Apple TV, and loves anything with buttons. He is a vendor of kisses, and will sweetly pat me on the head when he hugs me, just to tell me how much he cares. We celebrated his birth with a few family and friends, a strawberry vanilla layer cake, a balloon forest, and a ball pit. (Oh yeah, and I spiked the grown up’s punch.)

A bright pink strawberry cake for my boy!

Six layers of frosting and Strawberry jam between Vanilla cake.

Monkey and Otter figure out the ball pit.

Otter and Emma share a quiet moment in the ball pit.

Hatchet and Logan investigate some balloons.

Ben and his nevvy show a great deal of interest in the cake cutting.

Aunty Mop enjoys the spiked coffee drinks a la Lee.

Papa watches his boy throw balls down the ball slide.

Otter gets a little scared by all the singing.

Closing his eyes, he makes a wish and blows out the candle.

Mommy cuts the cake while Otter tests the berries for quality.

Lily trumpets through the party. — Lily trumpets through the part while Emma enjoys some Daddy time.

There were so many wonderful people there, and I have about 200 pictures of the blessed event, but as time and interest are in short supply, you get the above! It was a successful party for my little man, so much bigger than he was two years ago. I am so pleased to have him here with me, as his innate sweetness brightens up even my hardest hours. Before I had him, I couldn’t imaging sharing my life with any child other than Monkey, now that he is here, I feel as though our family has been made complete.

Happy Birthday baby boy, and many, many, more.

Love,

Mama