Category Archives: parenting

Scylla’s Law…

Every single time my husband has left town, be if for business or pleasure, something has happened to make the time here without him more challenging. For example, my husband went to Thailand for a week or so the during my first year of law school. His friend was getting married, and he was invited to attend the wedding. I couldn’t attend with him because the wedding was scheduled over my first ever week of law school exams. We talked about whether or not it was more important for him to stay and help me through exam week, but ultimately decided he should go.

All would have been well, except that his mother fell and broke her arm the day after he left, and I was stuck caring for a child and his mom, while studying for and taking my first ever law school exams. Hence, that trip will always be referred to in my mind as the trip of resentment.

This theme continues whenever he leaves town. Somehow the universe decided that I am to be tested when he is away. Okay, that is fairly egocentric of me, I am sure the universe has better things to do than test me. Clearly, the universe just has a really sick and perverse sense of humor, and I make for a good laugh.

When Lee left for the Rails Conference a few weeks after Otter’s birth I had a heck of a time handling all the kids and pets on my own. The last time he left town for business I was in the middle of starting my own business and had to find sitters to watch the kids as I interviewed people. Oh yeah, and Monkey got sick.

SO… this time Lee is gone for four days, well, three and a half. Otter had been sick all week with Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease, courtesy of little Lily’s daycare center. We thought he was better, all back to normal, until four hours after his Daddy left town. He yawned, and I saw blisters inside his little mouth.

Well…. fuck.

I promptly canceled all playdates and got some low acidity yogurt to tempt him with. Of course, all he wants to do is nurse. Now he has a racking cough, a crackly little voice, and sore blisters inside his mouth. His plaintive cry of “Mama” is heard constantly through my house. Monkey’s nose began to run this morning and she claims to have been sneezing all night.

So, Murphy’s law is “what can go wrong, will” and mine is “what can go wrong when your spouse is out of town and you are alone with the kids, will.”

It sucks, but hey, I have my own law!!

I will never sleep again…

For some unknown reason, my son has been waking up about 4 a.m. and nursing the rest of the morning. I have become a human pacifier. If he falls asleep while nursing and I pull away he instantly wakes up and demands more milk.

I feel drained (literally) and exhausted. I haven’t slept much in the last two years, but I have barely slept at all in the last two weeks.

Any suggestions? I really don’t want to give up co-sleeping yet, I have cut out almost all caffiene, and we are not ready to wean, but there has to be something we can go right?

Yawn

Right?

AP Month…

Attachment Parenting Month is here, and the theme is “giving our children presence”. As many of you know, I am a big fan of the AP principles, and I think they have hit the ball out of the park by choosing to focus on the importance of involved parenting for AP month.

There are many things I have tried to do to keep my family connected. I don’t have a car with a built in DVD player, and Ipod’s or MP3 players are not allowed in the car. If we are going to listen to music, we will do it together. I have gotten rid of cable t.v., and the nights that we eat in front of the boob tube we watch something all of us can enjoy together. I have brought my kids into the kitchen to help me cook, I have brought them into housework to help me clean. Lee and I try our best to live our lives with our children, instead of around them.

Still, it can be challenging to remain present in our kids lives. Life is hard work and we don’t do such a good job staying present for each other sometimes, much less our kids. After a long day with Otter, I don’t always have the fortitude to throw myself into Monkey’s tea party schemes. Sometimes I lock myself in my office and blog while the kids watch Little Bear on the Apple T.V.

So… for AP Month I want to ask my readers how you give your presence to your children, when you are too worn out to be present for anyone else? I want to explore the little pieces of parenting that make the difference for our kids, and us. For example, when I am feeling really worn down and I know I haven’t been particularly present lately I will take the extra minute to cut Monkey’s lunch sandwiches into heart shapes with a Valentines Day cookie cutter. That way I know she will feel that little extra bit of love when she opens her lunch during school.

What do you do? What are the little touches you add to your kids lives to make them feel that much more loved?