Category Archives: parenting

parenting

I love pets… really! I swear!

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I do. I love them so much I have five! Three cats and two dogs! (Yes I am insane)
I love their snuggles, and their loyalty, their warm purring bodies trapping me in at night. One cat on each part of me not covered by a baby.
(Yes I am becoming claustrophobic.)
I love feeding and caring for five additional creatures. (Nothing like cat and dog food to add to the grocery budget! Oohh, and emptying those catboxes is a dream! Of course, Hubby gets the joy of picking fresh poo up with little plastic baggies, and he will happily tell you how much fun that is!!)

I love cleaning up their vomit, poop, urine, and creative impulses (like the shredded toilet paper roll, or the chewed up baby toy or kiddo stuffy, or couch).

Oh and don’t forget the joy of figuring out what that random smashing sound is, or having nap time interrupted by another round of Kitten Commando.

I simply adore finding random puddles of liquid on my floor, and playing bodily function roulette. Is it pee? Bile? Drool? Water from an illicit indoor afternoon tea? (Please be water… please!)

I think the best part is finding said liquid with my feet! Oh yes, nothing quite like stepping on slightly tepid liquid at five a.m.! Joy! (Especially if it is chunky and squishes between my toes! There is nothing better for waking a person up then stepping in fresh cat vomit!!)

Yes, I think being a pet owner is one of the greatest joys in my life.

parenting, sleeplessness

No wicked for the rest…

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All right, that’s it!! If I am not going to get any rest any way, I wanna be wicked!

What’s wicked about being too sleepy to don makeup and cute shoes? How is spending the day trapped in the house with a cooing baby in my jammies wicked?

There is nothing remotely wicked about my life. Nothing even the tiniest bit racy!! (Well, okay, the quiche I made the other day with heavy whipping cream might have been a bit wicked.)

But regardless of the relative innocence of my days, there is no rest for me. My commanding officer is up at all hours, all nights, trying to hit a new marathon nursing record or standing at our headboard kicking me in the face. Sometimes he kicks his dad too, which makes me feel better.

Sooooo sleepy.

Wasn’t life a bit sexier when my sleep loss was due to being up until 3 a.m. dancing at a popular nightclub or hitting the party circuit? I was content with sleeplessness in my early twenties. Even in law school, when it was mostly due to hitting the books all night long, my sleepiness had an edge to it, a purpose. Now the only thing with an edge to it is my tone of voice when anyone asks me to do something for them.

Ugh… there is not enough coffee in the world.

parenting, SAHM

No sleep and too little coffee…

7 Comments

make mommy go… something…something.

Otter has started to get up at 6 a.m.

I abhor six a.m.

Six a.m. is the time I have to get up for court, it was the time I had to get up to work my crappy entry level job an hour’s drive away, it was the time I had to get to get to my insane morning torts class.

Six a.m. is an insufferable time to start my daily routine, it is an abberant time, a warped time of the morning, in between dark and light. A time out of time.

Especially when he really gets up about 5 a.m., but nurses with me in a quasi-doze for an hour before I finally resign myself to my fate and haul my enervated carcass out of bed.

Kick
“Come on Otter… go back to bed.”
Kick,kick
“Ma ma mamamamamamamamamama ma… Da da dadadadada… Ma Da MamaDa”
Smack, punch, kick.
Foot in the face.
“Oh all right, I’ll get up.”

I detest everyone and everything at that time of the day, the cat snuggled next to me is stifling, my husband’s blissful snoring is irksome, the baby’s determination is maddening, the stairs are too long, the floor is too hard, the couch is intolerable.

The first glimpse of the sun is met with the sentiment “Curse you life giving star!”

Then the coffee beans get ground…
and the first wafts of the delectable brew permeate the fog around my consciousness.
With the first sip, the cranky lines around my eyes fade.
With the second sip, I feel as though I might let people live.
With the third, I am human again.

I thank the java gods for their bounty. It appears to be the key to my parenting skills.