Category Archives: pregnancy

Law, pregnancy

What to expect…

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I received this note in my email today, from the helpful “What to Expect” people.

Week 33: Thinking for Two
Each week we’ll send you a note to share with the dad-to-be in your life. Pass it on!
She’s always been the one who remembered everything (your parents’ anniversary, the plans you had for next weekend, the meeting with the accountant you spaced on) and kept track of everything — wasn’t she the one with car key radar? But suddenly, you may have noticed, she’s the one forgetting meetings and appointments; she’s the one who can’t find her blue suit (because she didn’t remember to pick it up at the cleaners); and she’s the one who’s turning the house upside down to locate her car keys. Welcome to Pregnancy Brain Fog — another seemingly random symptom triggered by pregnancy hormones. Instead of ragging on her for her forgetfulness, help her cope with it. Search for her keys with her (or better still, put a key collecting bowl at the front door), remember to pick up the dry cleaning so she doesn’t have to, and casually mention at breakfast that important meeting she has this afternoon (before it slips her mind).

It’s true too, I am suffering from Placenta Brain, forgetting things, misplacing things, generally feeling insane.

My problem? The February Bar Exam. Do you think the PTB’s will forgive an incorrect point or two on account of baby brain?

For example: My boss asked me what the burden of proof was for a gender discrimination case. I couldn’t answer. Of course, I figured out later it was because Consitutional Analysis has levels of scrutiny, not burdens of proof, but still, it took me five hours to remember intermediate scrutiny!!

It helps that she didn’t remember either, and she is not suffering from pregnancy brain, but I won’t be able to make it through the exam if it takes me 5 hours to remember something as basic as that.

Sigh.

I am also having nightmares where I do into labor during the exam, an hour away from everyone who is supporting me through said labor. How do I get back home? Do I drive myself home? Do I leave my car in Somerset and call and ambulance? It will be a month early, so it’s not really going to happen, but it is certainly irritating that my subconcious has decided to worry about birthing during the bar exam instead of merely failing it.

Anyone have a cure for pregnancy/bar exam induced nightmares from hell?

pregnancy

Birthing class…

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A chance to practice breathing, a chance to meet other couples about to be blessed with a new baby, and a chance to be a trouble maker!!

I have been reading “Birthing from Within“, “Spiritual Midwifery“, and other lovely books given to me by Ellen, my Doula. I have been using these books to prepare myself for a natural childbirth and have been working with my doctor for the course of our pregnancy on creating a hospital environment that will support my natural birthing preference.

Which is why I was a bit of a trouble maker in the birthing class yesterday. For example, the nurse showed us three labor positions, and all of them involved raising your legs and sitting while you push. I calmly explained to Lee that these positions contribute to the need for an episiotomy, and asked the teacher if the hospital staff and doctors were open to any other birthing positions.

I was suprised to learn that they are open to birthing in almost any position. Unlike most places, Monmouth Hospital has beds that convert to allow women to birth in a kneeling position, a sitting position, various squatting positions, side lying, using a bar to squat with, etc. Then she thanked me for asking her.

Then of course we had a lovely discussion about whether I had to have an IV or a Heparin Lock while laboring, which did not go as pleasantly. She would really prefer I did, I would really prefer not to.

Then she discussed breathing patterns, and I told Lee, quietly, that the breathe, hold, and push method espoused as the way to go by hospitals all around the nation has a tendency to increase fetal distress as the breath holding limits oxygenation for the mom and the baby, and it tires moms out more quickly than natural pushing. Natual pushing being a small series of grunts and pushes. I asked a series of questions about the hospital staff’s willingness to try other pushing techniques and she said I can try anything I want for an hour, but if I am not progressing she wants me to try her way.

Hmmm…. we shall see.

Afterwards we went to see the rooms, and they are well set up for our water birth, with a large room with lots of light, nearby kitchens, foldout beds for dad, and a really nice staff.

They are also supportive of laboring women having juice and clear fluids, including soups and broth, so we will be better suited than I thought we would be. In fact, I am not sure I would find as progressive a hospital in Denver. Which is odd.

Happily the class was only one day, which is good as Lee and I can now focus on breathing exercises from the books, which are sources more geared towards using women’s natural laboring techniques, instead of forced ones. We did find interesting and helpful techniques for stopping pushing when we can’t and ways for Lee to get my attention when I am climbing the rafters, but it was definately a class designed for those who haven’t been reading all these books and working with a doula.

Motherhood/body image, Otter, pregnancy

He’s going to rock that belly!!

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It has begun. Otter is now big enough to rock that belly!! Yes indeed, last night Lee and I were talking when Lee stopped and stared hard at my tummy.

“That was wierd, your whole stomach moved.”

Yes it did! He is rolling and kicking and moving around so much that I look like the first stages of alien release!! We sat back and enjoyed the show together for a bit as Otter was quite willing to put in a major performance.

At Ellen’s suggestion yesterday I checked of Shape of a Mother and submitted some of my pictures. It is an amazing site to go to. I am so angry that our image of what women should look like is impossible to acheive.

I mean, I was a thin and muscular teenager, I had an excellent body, and I remember scouring my image in the mirror for fat and “consoling” myself with the knowledge that Cindy Crawford had the same measurements as I did, so I didn’t have to be heroine thin to be cute. Come on!! How sick is it that our healthiest fit women in our culture still have to convince themselves that they are okay looking because they are not anorexic? Ugh!

My mother helped me a lot when I was younger. She told me she had always been unhappy with her appearance and then was looking back on photographs of her younger self and really felt angry that she had never enjoyed her looks then. That really stuck with me and I was able to work at being really happy with the way I looked. But it took work. I was probably 20 before I really felt that I was hot stuff, and that only lasted until I was 25 and got pregnant with Marlena. I wasted years of concern worrying about imaginary fat or a few zits, or the fact that I couldn’t wear empire waist shirts without looking pregnant. It’s sickening.

So, here I am, 31, and heading towards a true jiggly belly as soon as this baby emerges. I had better get my crap together and start learning how to be okay with my body, actually no…. I want to learn to be proud of it! I am really strong! I don’t really want to look like a model! They have teeny arms and legs lacking in muscle. They can’t lift my 5 year old and tromp around the house blowing zurberts!!! They can’t swing her around “swing kids” style until she giggles breathlessly! They can’t hoist baby, diaper bag, briefcase, and groceries into the house all at once! Or move thier own living room furniture when they want to redecorate without the immediate opinion of their spouse! (Sorry honey, sometimes a woman’s gotta do it on her own. But I am always willing to put it back if you hate it.)

So, here is another foray into the land of artistic expression and unself-concious body acceptance.

Granted, the true irony about pregnancy is that once you accept your body as is, it changes again. And again. And again. However, it is an amazing thing, this ever changing body of mine. After all, it has grown two people. One of whom is running around in Kindergarten and the other who is still waiting to pop out and say hello. I don’t really know of any other thing as amazing. It is so unreal that what starts as a little nausea and tiredness becomes another person. A whole other human, who will eventually go to college and change the world… somehow.

Anyway, check out Shape of a Mother, if you haven’t already. Then take up the banner with me and agree to try to stop longing for a shapeless American Stick Insect body. Who wants to resemble a clothing hanger? It’s Mayan Fertility Goddess for me all the way!