Of temper tantrums and bodily fluids…

Why is it that the moment one parent leaves town, the kids go insane?

Lee is away at a Ruby on Rails conference with Devon, Morgan, and a few others representing Vonage in all it’s orangeness. My Dad was here until yesterday, so I only have two full days alone with one Monkey, one infant Otter, three dogs (I agreed to keep Devon’s dog Fitz, who lacks housetraining but normally will keep to a pee pad instead of hitting floors and carpet), and three cats. Shouldn’t be too bad right?

Let’s see… The night before I got up at 4:30 am to take Lee to the train station for his journey Monkey threw her first ‘Post little brother” fit. It was complete with screaming and crying and ended with the phrase “you don’t love me anymore, you only love Otter!” Sigh. Lee and I talked her down off a ledge, told her we did love her, and finally got her to sleep. However, Otter then kept me awake until almost 11, thereby giving me only 5 hours of interrupted, fitful sleep to work with upon Lee’s departure. I tried to go back to sleep after dropping him off, but Otter was awake and ready to eat, so it didn’t work. (It’s hard to sleep while a small creature sucks milk out of your nipple, but damn it I am going to master it eventually!)

The next sign that my week without Lee would be more challenging than initially anticipated came when Fitz decided to deviate from the perfectly acceptable pee pad behavior and instead poop on the carpet. Not wanting to risk a rental deposit of astronomical proportions, I cleaned up the mess and confined Fitz to a large linoleum area with temporary toddler fencing. She has still not deigned to hit the pee pad conveniently located near her, but at least she can’t destroy the linoleum. Sigh. (As if I was not already handling enough human waste, now I have to handle doggy waste too!)

The week continued with Monkey waking up at four am two nights ago with a nightmare, and last night having wet the bed, causing me to lose even more sleep than I normally do taking care of the baby. Of course I had failed to wash her previously dirty sheets so when I opened it at 4 am, the sheet cupboard was bare. Sigh. Additionally she has managed to use every tactic in the book to delay bedtime each night this week, leaving her very tired and cranky during the day. Joy!! (She was very well behaved today though, until bedtime, so I am thankful for that.)

Happily my dogs have not gone mad, yet, and Otter is only slightly more cranky and fussy than normal, so things are not as bad as they could be. However, why is it this crap happens when you are already taking a hit for the team?

Firsts…

This week was my Father’s first visit out to see us in New Jersey, the first time Otter met his Grandfather, Monkey’s first school field trip. and my first solo stint with two children.
Daddy got here Tuesday, and we enjoyed his visit so much. Otter was a little uncertain about the usefulness of another “boob-less” person in the house, but Dad won him over by Thursday with songs and snuggles. He even got a few “ear to ear jobs” as Dad calls baby grins.
Otter sleeping on Da:
Da singing to Otter:

Monkey played a number of rousing games of “Go-Fish” with her Da, and he actually won a few of them. (She is quite the card shark and never forgets a card someone has asked for.) Da also chaperoned her field trip to the Staten Island Zoo. He was a very brave man to volunteer to ride an hour or so on a bus with 20 chattering kindergarteners. They had a nice time, and Monkey was able so show her Da off to her classmates.
Da and Monkey off to the field trip:

Monkey excited about her field trip:
Monkey has had a hard time with Otter taking some of her thunder, and my Dad went a long way to reminding her that she is a sweet and special little girl, and that she is still a star, albeit one who has to share the spotlight from time to time.

Bella, our dog, got to snuggle in the guest bed with Dad at night, while Andy, our other dog, tried to win me over by staying in the bedroom.(It’s didn’t work, she is still not allowed to eat off the kitchen counter.)

Lee left for his conference on Thursday morning. Otter and I dropped him at the train station at 4:30 am. Ugh. Once he was gone a strange thing occured, I began waking up covered in cats. All three of them crept onto the bed and slept there, Rue above the baby, Chloe at my feet, and Hazel at my side.

As for me, I got to have several days of daddy hugs, and conversation over a shared beer or cup of coffee. He and I used to have coffee about once a week on his way to work, and I was really missing the chance to build castles in the air with him. It was great to have a chance for leisurely conversation, even if we had to sneak it in between the needs of the kiddos.

Of course today we had to take him to the airport, and we cried like babies all the way home, except for the baby, who slept. Monkey said “Nama and Da are just so special to me, and now they live there and we live here, it’s not fair! I can’t wait to live there again!”
Oh honey, how very much I agree with you.

Amid the cries of baby…

WAH!!!

Must…post…to…blog…

WAH!!

Must…contact…outside…world…

WAH!!

Must…shower.

It is a lovely thing, the first time your baby decides you are the end all be all of life and the human existence. When you can’t set him down without hearing him cry, can’t hand him off without hearing him cry, when you resign yourself to just hearing him cry so you can pee.

I am also the person who gets smiled at, and gets to snuggle the most, and gets the kisses, but I also get the most vomit, and god forbid I clean my kitchen, sweep my house, or cook dinner. I am oficially limited to foods that can be consumed with one hand and have little dripage.

Cereal is a hardship because of the milk, so mixing it with yogurt seems to help reduce spills.

Do not overcook pork chops and then try and eat them one handed, they will merely defeat you. Limit yourself to precut meals, or meat that is so tender it falls apart.

Happily I should be more than able to lost weight on my one handed diet, and with the vitamin supplements not suffer too much nutrition loss!!

On the bright side my dad is in town and I am beginning to feel the reality of the baby. After living with my parents when I had Monkey, it was difficult to fully embrace the new baby until I heard my parents goo and gah over him. Now he has been fully welcomed into the family, and his cries have been interpreted by my father to be commentary on the current political regime. Well frankly, I would cry too.