Seriously, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your genitalia forever, OU-fucking-CH!!
This morning, when I managed to dislocate my pinky toe on the doorjamb to my bathroom, I hopped about with my foot in my hands cursing a blue streak, once I got my breath back sufficient to form curses. It came out of no where, that doorjamb, I was minding my own slightly hungover business when SLAM!, that fucking doorjamb jumped right in front of my foot.
After two hours of intense, it goes to 11, pain I went to the ER and was subjected to x-rays from a very apologetic tech. At some point during the trip to the ER the toe was relocated somehow, reducing the pain to about a 4, and leaving behind swelling and bruising. So I get tape, and a very fashionable shoe, for a week.
Thanks a lot doorjamb, see if you get anything in your stocking this year!!
What a way to start year 33!
Last night, which we shall call pre-toe dislocation, was wonderful though. I got to celebrate my birth with many lovely friends at the Rock Bottom Brewery, as the bar I had chosen has been closed for renovations for about three months. (oops.) I was gifted with chocolate, beer, shirts, lotions, motherpucker lip gloss, garden grown squash, and handmade cards. Best of all I was gifted with time. Many of the people I love took the time to come and toss back a drink with me. Given how busy everyone is, I count myself blessed beyond imagination. We tossed a few bucks in the jukebox (okay, the computerized music player) and danced between pool tables to some old school hits, we reminisced about parties we enjoyed over 17 years ago, and we made fun of Sarah Palin (the ultimate liberal party game. Come to think of it, the ultimate anyone’s party game.)
I even got to hang all night with Coni, who had just finished her national exams and needed to unwind. It was a true gift, as she and I hadn’t had the time to swill away an evening together in over a decade. An hour or two a month at the most, that has been our time for each other over the years as work, school, and family filled in the spaces between dawn and dusk. Last night I got her for 5 hours. It was awesome.
I think I have throughly celebrated my palindromic birthday. I look forward to the year to come.
8 thoughts on “That doorjamb came out of nowhere!!”
Owwwwwwww!!! I’m glad you had a good day before that though!
Happy Belated Birthday. (I miss rock bottom, sniff…sob)
Happy Belated birthday! Sounds like a blast, except for the whole dislocated toe thing. Here’s to a great year!
Happy Birthday! And watch out for doorjambs. Sneaky little bastards strike like ninjas.
Happy Birthday, Woman! Poor toe! If I had to choose one, I’d rather have jam than jamb.
I hate to laugh but I can see you cursing and hopping around… kinda funny… 🙂 Hope the toe heals quickly.
Again, Happy Birthday. 33 will be a good year.
Sorry about your toe! But you know, bones break easier when you get SOOOO OLD!
I have just found your “fleas” curse… I just HAVE to use that sometime… hope I can remember it!
Hope your hands get better.