I don’t know about you but having feelings and chronic daily migraine sucks. Every time I get angry my head hurts more. If I get anxious or nervous, more head pain. If I cry, boy, if I cry you may as well have hit me over the head with a bucket of bricks and I am in bed for days.
Which is why I have magically transformed from a deeply emotive person into one of the most emotionally patient people you will ever meet. Tragedy is met with quiet, anger is met with quiet. Anything else literally hurts me more than it hurts you.
Sometimes, however, this fails, because life is a harsh asshole and the people you love say nasty things and the people you count on let you down in massive ways and the coping skills you have developed over five years of constant pain go down the drain in a torrent of tears that leaves you shaking and buried under an avalanche of pain.
Sometimes it’s necessary to lose your shit. Even if it means you are going to hurt, because sometimes the emotional pain of your existence deserves as much release as the physical pain and as far as I can tell no one has found a pill to cure the pain of heartbreak.
After all, no one has found a pill to cure the pain of headache either so it’s not like heartbreak is alone out there.
So. Get your laundry done. Pay your bills. Set up some leftovers. Set your ice packs in the freezer and your heating pad by the bed. Pull the black out curtains shut. Then cry. Let it go.
It’s not doing you any good in there anyway.