All posts by Savvy Spoonie

I am an artist, writer, jeweler, and a Spoonie. Before becoming a Spoonie I was a very busy high achieving attorney and advocate bent on saving the world. Now I'm struggle to redefine my life to fit within my reduced energy level. Some days are better than others. I have fibromyalgia, trigeminal neuralgia, and chronic daily migraine.
parenting

Venting…

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Okay, two posts in one day is annoying, I agree, but I finally have two minutes to myself today and frac I need to vent!

I know I am a big AP (as in Attachment Parenting or small fiendish children hanging on you all day and night forever) advocate, and I know I voluntarily signed up to nurse for two years, and to stay home with my son, and to co-sleep and baby wear.

BUT DAMMIT I WANT MY PRIVACY BACK!!!!

Not all the time, just every now and then. You know, ten or fifteen minutes a day?

I used to dream of saving the world, or traveling in space, or being discovered for some artsy foreign film, or at least winning a huge Toxic Torts case. Now I dream of peeing, alone.

That’s right! Three years of educational hell and two hundred thousand dollars in student loans and my highest aspiration is eliminating in privacy!!

Otter is in such a needy place right now! (Read: He doesn’t nap and is therefore psycho) I can’t leave him in a room/crib/walker/exersaucer/whatever by himself for any time at all without him screaming! And he can scream! His little soft voice goes all sonic death ray on me as he strips his vocal cords in his attempts to be heard!

So what is a mom do? Well…. this mom finds herself either ignoring the gut wrenching screams coming from the bedroom whilst I pee…. or I bring him into the bathroom with me where I get to play the “No baby, you can’t play with the chemicals/toilet/toilet paper/toothbrush/hair dryer/choking hazard/first aid kit/ Q-tips/ medicine bottles/ eyebrow scissors/ razor blades/ poisonous gas dispenser” game, whilst I pee.

Either way, I don’t get to pee in peace. It seems like such a small thing, the chance to use the bathroom alone, and without any sense of urgency, but it turns out to be one of the trickiest things of all.

Is he like this because I am an AP parent? Are all children this way? Do other parents get to pee alone? It’s really what I want, a little peace, a little privacy, a chance to pee in private, with no screaming children in the background.

Isn’t that a goal worthy of my dearly bought talents?

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The Family Bed…

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At some point last night Monkey crawled into bed with us, a fact I only noticed around 4 a.m. when her stinker of a brother began to cry for milk, and I became aware of a sense of being penned in on all sides.

Normally Hazel, my tortoiseshell cat, sleeps against my back at night, so I wasn’t surprised to feel a pressure against my left side, but I was amazed at it’s weight, thinking “Gee, this cat really doesn’t want to be shoved out of bed tonight.”
Thankfully I became aware enough to stop myself from shoving harder, or I would have rudely pushed my six year old onto the floor while turning over to nurse Otter. Instead, I sleepily informed her that she needed to get back into her own bed, and gave her a little kiss. She sleepily complied. Lee then raised his groggy head up long enough to notice there was another person in our bed, before resuming his part of the deep nighttime sleep chorus.

I still have no idea when she crawled into bed with me, or why, or even how. I didn’t notice it enough to wake up when it happened. There was a surprising amount of room because Otter hadn’t begun his nightly process of pushing me closer to the edge of the bed. (I usually wake up clinging desperately to the far edge with very little blanket while the men in my life happily snore away in comfortable ignorance of my plight.) I was just a little constrained, by two warm snuggly kids, snoring away on either side of me.

I could understand the family bed. I mean, I personally think I would go insane if I had both kids in bed with me all night every night, but from time to time a solid family cuddling pile is simply wonderful. I woke up this morning feeling well loved, though a bit stiff in the back and neck.