Category Archives: #tired

Use what you have…

An attempt to withdraw from knee jerk capitalist self-soothing.

They work us long, hard hours at less than generous wages so when we have free time we spend our money on things that feel like luxuries to reduce our stress, anxiety, and depression.

What we need is time together, time in nature, time creating things, and so much less stuff.

Not a popular opinion.

As a woman whose Mother has had to hire two dumpsters and two junk removal teams to dig out of my Father’s lifetime of consumerism I’m taking the lesson to heart.

This is the year I begin to use what I have in earnest. Repurposing what I can, trading what I can’t, and donating what I don’t need and what I don’t love.

I can sew a little bit by hand so instead of new things this year I’m refreshing my old things with needle, thread, and things I won’t wear anymore. YouTube and Google have all the free teachers I require .

Cardboard boxes make great storage and fabric and glue make them as pretty as any you can buy at IKEA, it’s not like the Drona boxes are made of anything else.

Handmade food wraps and wax wraps replace store bought plastic wrap and reduce waste. If you don’t want the hassle of pine resin in your wax wrap recipe rubber bands or nylon hair ties will hold these reusable items closed just as well.

I’m tired of living in a world that tells me I have to spend all my time working to afford the next brightest toy. I want to spend my time with my family, my friends, my dog, and the natural world.

For as long as we still have one.

Everywhere I turn, fire.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed…

It just feels as though every day I am surrounded by red hot pokers.

People I love are struggling. Thinking about the reasons for the their struggles makes me scramble back to distraction or anything else because otherwise I want to cry because someone is sick or because their choices are making them sick or because their mental health is really bad and there isn’t anything I can do to help.

People I love are hating. They are choosing to be mean and hateful and go out of their way to hurt people they don’t even know for reasons I can’t understand.

My country is fading. The heroic Captain America U.S. I grew up with is looking more and more like something Indiana Jones would fight against. Something the Avengers would defeat. Something we used to stand against.

Everywhere I turn there are burning, searing, painful places screaming for me to deal with them. All I can do is cower in the center of the flames.

Goblin Mode – not just OED’s word of the year.

It’s the holiday season and I want to crawl into a cave and hide from everyone I know.

It’s not you, it’s me.

I’m serious. You’ve done nothing wrong. It really is me. My inner goblin has been greedily grasping at everyone solitary moment I’ve been able to muster for the past month.

Her hunger is becoming insatiable. She wants to wander around a vacant room in no bra, loose workout clothes that are so soft with age they are practically see through, and soft socks so thick I’d have to buy shoes a size up to wear them out of the house.

She wants to binge-watch shows for days at a time or listen to whole books on tape without stopping for a single conversation.

She wants to go entire days without uttering a single word aloud.

As the days tick by to the greediest, gift-givingest day of them all my inner goblin is taking me over and urging me to run and hide and become one with my sheets and blankets. She turns my eyes from the sunlight peering through the window in the morning and pushes the phone away from me when a text comes through.

She is drooling for a chance to disappear.