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Hello? Echo….

It’s been over two months since I posted here. The urge to tell the details in my life has been replaced with an intense foray into the law. Hopefully that need to write will come back, until then it’s farewell.

Thank you all for sharing your stories and comments with me and for being a part of something I truly loved to do.

Is that all there is?…

Is that all there is?

The problem with fairy tales is they only tell the story of the princess or the prince. They don’t tend tell the lives of the servants who endlessly slaved to support the fantastic castles, amazing kingdoms, and lovely lives of the main characters. Let’s face it, most of us are a heck of a lot closer to those servants than we are the princess with the glass slipper. I have a number of amazing and talented people in my life and as of yet not a single one of them has been handed a life of ease because they had a small and delicate foot.

I don’t want a life of ease, to be honest if I were to win the Lottery I would most likely keep doing what I am doing now. Of course, I would do some of it from a cruise ship in the Greek Isles, but I would still do it. I don’t have a problem with a life of dedication and effort. However, after a day of washing footprints off walls, poop off bottoms, food off dishes, dirt off clothes, etc. in addition to a day of work I feel lost beneath the requirements of my existence. String an endless number of those days together and I begin to forget that I ever was someone who learned to dance because it was fun or spent hours sitting by a window staring at the clouds and imaging my future in the brightest of pictures.

If that’s all there is my friends let’s keep on dancing.

I don’t think I stopped day dreaming because I grew up, I think I stopped because the hours began to run out in my days, and the days began to run out in my weeks, and my weekends became days to catch up on chores or focus on quality time with the family. Week after week began to run together, the passage of time whipping past me virtually unnoticed while I struggled with getting the lunches packed and research prepared and the clothes folded and put away. Which begs the question, is this all there is? Does one really daydream and work all their youth towards a life of work that leaves you too tired to dream?

Am I going to feel this way until my children have grown up and moved out of my house? ‘Cause that’s a damn long time to wait for the chance to daydream. Am I going to stop daydreaming all together? Will the ability to imagine myself doing all sorts of wonderful things fade as I get caught up, day after day, in the machinery of my life?

Let’s break out the booze and have a ball, if that’s all there is.

Coming up for air…

gasp

It has been a crazy month. It turns out owning two businesses is alot like being owned by two businesses. Owning two businesses while raising children… well let’s just say I have a new affinity for the phrase “hair on fire.”

Things are going well. Business is increasing, my children still remember who the hell I am, I occassionally manage to have sex with my husband, and none of my pets have died of starvation. I am so tired by the end of each day I start dreaming about going to bed around nine. Around ten I go about making it a reality. Sleep is a completely dreamless state of non-existence right now. I am too tired to dream anything interesting. My head hits the pillow and I am down until morning. If Otter wasn’t in my face shaking me and yelling “wake up mama!” at seven I would sleep until ten every damn day. I love sleep, I crave it, it haunts me during the day.

I am trying to find the time for excercise. Otter and I went to the park the other day and I tried barefoot running while he chased me and warned me that a wolf was coming. (He has not heard of the boy who cried wolf because he is the boy who cried wolf. He cries it all the time!) I really enjoyed the sense of my feet hitting the track and my body seemed to view the experience in a rejuvenating way. I still have to start developing the willpower to wake up early enough to run before I start my day, but baby steps.

Someday y’all will have to come see me at my new office. Someday I will hopefully have one. We keep looking for space we like, but there are several highly opinionated personalities involved so it’s hard to find something we all love and agree on. Until then I am crammed into my space under the stairs to my bedroom, daily shuffling the family and work detritus around so I can find a pen.

Well look at that. 9:23. That is close to ten…. I could go to sleep now without feeling like a complete lame-o.