What are uncles good for?

Human pacifiers! Yes ladies and gentlemen, in an act guaranteed to get him drooled on, Devon offered up his (freshly washed) pinkie finger to the crying Oliver in an attempt to allow me to cook dinner! It worked too! Oliver gracefully accepted this opportunity to slime someone other than his mother.

Whew! Oliver has begun to speak out against the putting down of babies. Now I don’t mean the insulting of babies, though I am sure he would be against that too, given his political leanings, I mean the setting down of babies. Oliver is of the strident and firm belief that all babies should be cuddled by someone warm and cooing at all times! He cares not for the crib, or the playpen, or the swing, NO! Only the arms of a living, breathing person (preferably a woman, as he is a boob man already) will do.

If one should be so foolish as to attempt to set down a baby in Oliver’s presence (usually Oliver), he will loudly proclaim to all present the unacceptable nature of that attempt.

He will accept a sling, or a snugly, but notice that there is no setting down of the baby in a sling or snugly, there is merely an additional mechanism by which the baby is attached to a living breathing person. I fear this trend will only continue as I found strongly worded propaganda hidden under his crib sheet this morning, obviously intended for mass distribution the next time we neared a park or Babies ‘R’ Us.

The Slowskis…

So for a week we were the Slowski’s from the Comcast commercial. For some reason our internet connection was borked. It took 35 minutes for me to send an email with one photo attached!

We are back online now, but the baby is crying….

Okay, I normally don’t like to post forwards here, but this one was really fun to read. Second Graders were asked some questions and these were some of their answers:

Answers given by 2nd grade school to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger
parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice
in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mom?
1. We’re related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a
goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause
that’s who ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

I thought these answers provided an interesting insight into the way kids view thier parents.