What are uncles good for?

Human pacifiers! Yes ladies and gentlemen, in an act guaranteed to get him drooled on, Devon offered up his (freshly washed) pinkie finger to the crying Oliver in an attempt to allow me to cook dinner! It worked too! Oliver gracefully accepted this opportunity to slime someone other than his mother.

Whew! Oliver has begun to speak out against the putting down of babies. Now I don’t mean the insulting of babies, though I am sure he would be against that too, given his political leanings, I mean the setting down of babies. Oliver is of the strident and firm belief that all babies should be cuddled by someone warm and cooing at all times! He cares not for the crib, or the playpen, or the swing, NO! Only the arms of a living, breathing person (preferably a woman, as he is a boob man already) will do.

If one should be so foolish as to attempt to set down a baby in Oliver’s presence (usually Oliver), he will loudly proclaim to all present the unacceptable nature of that attempt.

He will accept a sling, or a snugly, but notice that there is no setting down of the baby in a sling or snugly, there is merely an additional mechanism by which the baby is attached to a living breathing person. I fear this trend will only continue as I found strongly worded propaganda hidden under his crib sheet this morning, obviously intended for mass distribution the next time we neared a park or Babies ‘R’ Us.

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