My little optimist…

March 1, 2007 Savvy Spoonie 4 Comments

Monkey has apparently learned the lesson that criticism is easier to take when accompanied by a positive statement.

For example, Mom made us some cookies and sent them in a care package. They were a little crunchier than normal due to Mom substituting raw sugar for brown sugar, and Monkey didn’t like them. (Don’t worry Mom, Lee loved the cookies and ate almost all of them!)

So after Monkey tasted one of the cookies she looked at me and told me they were awful. I informed her that she didn’t have to eat them but we also didn’t have to tell her we didn’t like them. She agreed, until she was on the phone with Mom later that night. She came over to me with the phone pressed to her ear and the widest eyes I have ever seen, obviously bothered by the pressure of having to ‘lie’ to Nama by not telling her the cookies were awful. So I told her to go ahead and tell her.

“Nama? You know the cookies you sent me? They were awful… but they were a really pretty color!”

Mom just laughed. She and I shared the joy of Monkey’s first attempt at combining criticism with positive reinforcement.

Since then she has used this method on me as well. This morning she informed me that the cream of wheat I made was awful, but a very pretty color. I just had to chuckle.

She is learning how to manage people, something I think she is picking up from Lee. I think it is pretty cute the way she is trying to manage me.

Motherhood/body image

Thank you

March 1, 2007 Savvy Spoonie 1 Comment

From an unexpected source…

First of all, thanks to all who commented on my last post, I appreciate having a village of women who will rally ’round and support me in my final months of grazing and lowing. I could not do it without you ladies.

As evidenced by my last post, I have been feeling like a large beached mammal more than a lovely woman, so I was pleasantly surprised to be given a self esteem pick me up from an unexpected source today.

I was in the checkout line of the Whole Foods today buying milk. I was dressed in my usual late trimester uniform, ponytail, no make-up, yoga pants and front tie shirt. The woman behind me leaned over and asked when I was due. I told her the first of April and expected to get the normal sympathetic look or questions about whether or not it’s my first child, the usual checkout line chatter. Instead she told me that she thought I was just lovely, and looked so comfortable and proud of being pregnant. She then handed me her card, informing me she was a photographer specializing in pregnancy and families, and asked if I would model for her.

I was stunned, here I was at my most schlubby, feeling like a giant beached mammal, and this wonderful woman was asking me to model for her. I told her that the black hid a lot, which was part of it’s beauty, she laughed, told me to take her card and think about it. I muttered something about thinking about it, thanked her, and wandered into the parking lot.

Needless to say I checked her out online, and called her immediately thereafter to say yes. She wants me to bring my yoga clothes, wear whatever make up I normally wear, and be comfortable. Not only does she want me to model, but she actually wants ME to model for her, not me covered in piles of correcting fluid.

It was really nice to get a compliment of this nature from a stranger. I get told I am lovely by Lee and my family and friends, but let’s face it, if I actually was a beached mammal you would all tell me how lovely I was in order to make me feel better, so the stranger compliment is more successful at perking up my self image.

Anyway, I am off Wednesday of next week to capture me in all my pregnant glory. I am excited to see how she sees me when the photos are finished.

health, pregnancy

So ready to pop!

February 27, 2007 Savvy Spoonie 4 Comments

Nine months is one month too many!!

Okay, I understand that creating human life is a beautiful and sacred thing, I get that it takes a long time to grow a human from an egg and a sperm. I get that the awesome power of birth is central to the most contentious political arguments in our culture.

However, I also can’t get off my couch anymore, or walk through the grocery store without availing myself of their bathroom. I can’t do anything without getting heartburn and my hips are letting me know what life at 110 is going to feel like. I understand that I should feel lucky to be a woman, and not an elephant, but really, nine months is one month too long!!

I am ready for pants that have zippers, the occasional beer, and a frickin pile of sushi! I am ready for lying flat on my back or stomach!

Why does our culture breed an expectation for an attitude of peaceful joy during pregnancy? I don’t feel calm, I feel impatient! I want to hold my baby, and get him out of me!! Most women I speak with sympathize with this sense of the final month taking for-frickin-ever, but we still have this image of the lovely pregnant woman peacefully eating her way through an entire chocolate cake and loving every crumbly minute. Where are the complaints? I don’t have gooey chocolate love, I have uncomfortable heartburny indulgence!! There is a foot permanently lodged in my stomach making chocolatey goodness my enemy!

Not to mention that I can no longer reach half my dishes, or half the stuff on grocery store shelves. Emptying a grocery cart is an acrobatic feat beyond my normal level of physical ability, and I can’t walk through any opening smaller than a banquet hall! I bump my ‘bump’ against everything that comes near it, and then moan because it’s extra sensitive to the touch!

Ugh. I feel like a huge mammoth beast, waddling towards my own self destruction. I don’t feel like a glowing serene woman on the verge of a miracle. I feel like a harried, tired, beached mammal trying desperately to feed and care for her current calf while preparing for the existence of another.

Moo.