Don’t bash on the belly gentlemen…

August 21, 2006 Savvy Spoonie 4 Comments

Why are pregnant women called crazy? (A soapbox moment)

I am bothered by a common theme within our culture as represented by the media, and our culture in general. (Actually, I am bothered by many common themes, but this is the one bothering me today.)

I find it disturbing that pregnant women are considered crazy. If a pregnant woman has an emotional reaction to any given situation, she is just as likely to be treated like a person recently released from an institution as she is to be treated like a person with feelings. I understand that pregnancy causes emotional ups and downs, harsher or more extreme reactions to normal situations, and simply more emotions in general. I get it, I am currently pregnant. I understand that my crying in the grocery store the other day because the Fair Haven A&P doesn’t carry the fudgsicles my parents buy back home is not the way I would behave if I weren’t pregnant. I understand that crying at the end of Clerks II was more likely caused by hormones than it was the touching and meaningful prose of Kevin Smith. (I am pretty sure that Mr. Smith never intended to make his audience sniffle quietly whilst Dante and Randall rebuilt the Quick-Stop.)

Crazy is a hugely negative term in our culture. It immediately demolishes a person’s credibility. For example, when liberals and democrats in 2000 and 2004 began to speak about the possibility of a stolen election, the validity of their viewpoints were dimished quite effectively by referring to them as crazy. (Or by referring to them as conspiracy theories, which in popular culture is synonymous with crazy.)

What upsets me is that these increased emotional reactions are natural. They occur becuase of a natural increase in hormone levels caused by growing a baby. (Without this ability, the human race would cease to exist, so therefore, I feel we should more respect pregnant women.)
I am upset that the hormones rushing through my system as a result of my role in continuing the species give other people the license to call me insane and treat me like a ticking time bomb.

Those of you who know me know that I can get fired up and angry about a great number of things, without a single wayward hormone in evidence. How am I supposed to make it through the next nine months without harming those around me if they treat me like a lunatic each time I get up on my soapbox?

It is unfeeling of our culture to punish pregnant women for expressing their feelings when a massive flood of hormones is pulsing through their systems. (Yes, referring to pregnant women as crazy when they react emotionally is punishment.) Why don’t people simply understand that the growing of another human being has a tendency to effect emotions? Why aren’t women, while pregnant, offered commiseration and support, instead of being derided as insane? Isn’t it enough that we have to willingly get fat in a culture that makes anorexia look healthy?

Your Denver Girl (Pregnant and emotional!) signing out.

house"keeping", renting

The carpet strikes back…

August 17, 2006 Savvy Spoonie 5 Comments

The Carpet Strikes Back… a thank you… and more…

To begin with I would like to thank all of you for your outpouring of support in response to my last blog. I really feel loved and supported, which is more helpful than just about anything else! My absence from posting was due to a combination of the final chapter of the carpet saga and planning our wedding/honeymoon.

So, we were told at the end of last week that the icky, yucky, blucky carpets would be gone at the end of last week or the beginning of this week. Weeell, they came out today. Sadly, all of our stuff has been in the family room all week while we waited, and we had to sleep in the living room last night in order to insure the furniture was out of the rooms. (By the way, we will be finding an alternative bed for guests, our futon sucks!! I heartily apoligize to any friends who have already learned that. Sorry Luke!!)

But today the carpets were removed to uncover a decent, though heavily stained, wood floor. I have spent the better part of the day mopping, sweeping, and steam cleaning the wood. I have also removed little pokey things (staples and nails), and tiny remaining tufts of carpet that were stuck to the wall. The rooms look better. They do not look great but they are no longer covered by stinky, ugly, dirty, lavender carpet. (YAY!!) I am now completely spent.

Our landlord came by today to haul away the carpet. He missed some, of course. One of his biggest arguments in this carpet debate is that we have pets who will simply ruin any new carpet that comes in. Now our pets are good. The girls have occasional accidents, but given that we are fencing the backyard and I will be able to let them out whenever they need to go, there should be no issues here. My cat, Chloe, has never peed anywhere. That is until this morning, when she objected to the carpets remaining as long as they have by peeing on the one in the hallway. So the carpet removal crew informed my landlord that the carpet was wet, and he gave me a very triumphant look. I responded by stating the obvious. That pets, no matter how well trained, will spray when they encounter another pet’s urine smell, and that poor Chloe had restrained herself for over two weeks. Happily for me, the carpet removal crew agreed that it is nearly impossible to stop your pet from peeing on a carpet that is covered in a different animal’s scent. My landlord grudgingly agreed, but I am positive he expects my pets to ruin the carpet in the family room. Sigh.

I am settling in a little better, the challenges of the last two days have kept me from feeling quite so “desperate”. I vacillate between wanting to stay at home and wanting to work. I really would love to write an article for publication, or maybe even a book. I would love to do crafty stuff, and volunteer for some good environmental causes, learn to cook Indian food. I would also love to take on a new legal challenge or several, and earn some money after years of incurring a massive debt. It is really hard to figure out what I want to do.

Luckily, I have some time! Tonight I am making chicken curry for the first time ever! Off to counquer the kitchen! Thank you all for your helpful suggestions and love! I miss you!

Denver Girl, signing off!

SAHM

Desperate Housewives…

August 15, 2006 Savvy Spoonie 5 Comments

Desperate Housewives…. suddenly I relate.

I didn’t watch Desperate Housewives when it first came out because I thought it was a reality T.V. show. I didn’t want to spend my time watching a bunch of suburban women cheating on their husbands or doing whatever other idiotic thing the reality T.V. guru’s decided to offer as entertainment. However, one night, on an airplane to RebLaw 2006, I saw the pilot episode on the plane. I was immediately entranced with the story and proceeded to Netflix the hell out of the first season. The show was so wonderful, the characters so real. I really sympathized with the women in the show.

Well, I watched more of it today while I was cleaning house in my suburban home, on my quiet street, while my husband takes over corporate America. The show really hit me hard today, I really felt as though I understood it on a whole new level. I left behind almost all my close friends, my family, and my connections. I left my career at it’s very inception. I spent my day cleaning my living room, unpacking boxes, and attempting to entertain my small daughter with a variety of learning games. I began to feel really desperate!! All of the sudden I had an image of my days, spent like Bree, smoothing out wrinkles on the bedspread. Espescially now that law school has instilled in me a very obsessive compulsive streak.

Now I know, logically anyway, that I am not actually going to turn into a character on Desperate Housewives. I also know that I have been in this postion for a week and a half, and my sense of unease is compounded by the fact that our house is still unpacked. I also know that having nothing to do but clean the house and entertain the child is a contributing factor to this feeling. However, despite knowing this, I felt so incredibly lost today. I have got to find a job. I am afraid I am going to lose my mind if I am not doing something while Monkey is in school all day, at least until the baby gets here.

Well, thanks for listening to me rant,

Your Denver Desperate Housewife, in Jersey.