For the most part, I love my job. Well, I guess I should say I love my full time job, as I also have a part time job, which I also love. However, I do not love feeling as though my full time job isn’t work, simply because it can be fun and I love it.
If I were spending all day (and night), every day watching over and caring for someone else’s children, and receiving a paycheck for it, I am certain I would not feel a little guilty when my day mostly consisted of cooking, light cleaning, baby feeding, homework overseeing, and playdates. However, because the children I watch over are my own, I feel as though I am not working. Unless I manage to tame the laundry beast, or deep clean the entire house, or prepare an excellent dinner, I don’t feel as though I have been working.
Now, I don’t feel as though I have been relaxing, but I feel vaguely as though I have been slacking off a bit, you know, playing solitaire instead of finishing those TPS reports.
Unfortunately, much of society seems to feel the same way. Maybe it’s because I had the children, so I am supposed to take care of them. A philosophy I don’t argue with. I agreed to accept the job, now I have to do the job. Note that is still makes it a job.
Isn’t taking your children to a play date fun? Isn’t that more… play? Isn’t playing with your children all day, fun?
Okay, yes, it is fun. It is fun! A fun job. In fact, it is a fun, 80-120 hour a week, volunteer job.
Playdates are fun, in the same way office events are fun. You get away from your normal routine, you can relax a little more, enjoy some conversation with a co-worker, but you are still hanging out with your boss. It’s not the same as sitting on a couch with a cup of coffee, a good book, and some frackin’ glorious silence.
My full time job is a lot of work. Keeping a small but determined baby fed, changed, clean, entertained, and happy all day long is a tiring, demanding, and all together challenging task. Keeping a brilliant, creative, and tireless six year old fed, clean, clothed, homeworked, and entertained is also a tiring, demanding and challenging task. Mine is not a bon bon filled existence. I may watch ER a couple of times a week, but really, what else am I supposed to do while nursing? Should I develop a nursing sling so I can clean the kitchen or mop the floors while he partakes of his breakfast?
So, this is officially me giving my Mommy guilt it’s pink slip. I work my ass off (which unfortunately doesn’t make it any smaller) every day. I deserve to be told I worked hard today, I deserve to get an employee of the month plaque, but mostly, I deserve to be treated like a contributing, hard working member of society.
And so, my dears, do you.