The closer I get to returning home the harder it gets to go. I never thought I would say this but New Jersey isn’t such a bad place to be. Maybe it’s the people, maybe it’s the proximity to NYC, but being here doesn’t have the sting it used to.
Tonight I went to see Sex in the City with Ellen and Tiff. We had dinner, drinks, a fantastic movie about love, and lots of laughter.
On the way home I thought about family. How lucky am I that I have people I love so much, both here and back in Colorado? In the past two years I have found this amazing group of people I can call my own. Some of them came here with me, and our bonds were strengthened in the move, but some of them are new to my heart. These people love me when I am noisy and obnoxious, forgive me when I hermit away in my house for days on end, and are willing to overlook the fact that I wore cheap high heeled red flip-flops to go see a movie filled with Manolos.
I am sad that returning home means leaving… home. In the not too distant future I will not be a train ride away from Broadway. I will no longer go down the shore. I won’t here people say “whattaya gonna do?” and “fahgeddabowdit”. I won’t go berry picking with the Moms Club or shopping at Wegman’s. No around me will know what a pork roll is. There will be no more super fresh fish, and no more Sunday gelato. Everyone will think I am the pushy asshole when I get behind the wheel of my car.
Living on the East coast is all about surviving on the East coast. No one meanders through life here. It’s rush, and push, and get the fuck outta my way you stupid ass what on earth do you think you are doing!! It’s an attitude I have learned and adopted through two years in one of the most populated States in our nation. I have found the checker at the Wegman’s who will sneak me into the express lane, the waiter who will pour me the strongest drink, and great friends.
Somehow, out here in the last place I ever wanted to be, I found a whole lotta love.
Leaving is going to break my heart.