Nurse until you cry.

I popped over to Pumproom Confessions yesterday and saw a button on the sidebar that said “Breastfeeding shouldn’t be a downer.” As I am ever interested in the world of nursing, I clicked on it. It led me to a website for Dysphroic Milk Ejection Reflex. Suddenly I was reading account after account from women who experienced the same thing I do when nursing.

I love to nurse, the closeness is amazing and I am a long term advocate of it. So I found it a bit dismaying that each time I sat down to nurse my son I would suddenly be overcome with a deep wave of despair. It would punch me right in the stomach and sit there for a minute to two. I told myself it was mild post partum depression. I told myself it was a reaction to finally sitting down and not distracting myself from my grief over a departed friend. I didn’t connect it with my milk letting down. I didn’t connect it with nursing at all, even though it happened every time I sat down to do it. I just figured it was something else. I never knew it was a documented condition that afflicted other moms as well.

I can’t begin to tell you how much it means to me that I am a) not alone, b) not insane c) not imagining it. I feel so much better simply knowing that there is a physical reason for those moments of despair, and that there are people researching it to see if there is something that can be done. Clearly some wire in my brain is crossed. Evolutionarily it makes sense to have pleasurable emotions released when your milk lets down, not despairing ones.

If you are a nursing mother, and you feel inexplicably sad, anxious, angry, or depressed for short intense periods while nursing, check out the website on D-MER. Breastfeeding is challenging enough without having to battle intense and nebulous emotional demons along with it. I feel so much better simply knowing more about the problem, and I would bet you will too.

13

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day (I know you know the one I mean), and all the patients were shouting ,’13….13….13′.

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.

Some crazy idiot poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting ’14….14….14’…

(Sent to me by a friend… Thank you Laura for the laugh!)

A brief Hiatus…

Well… it turns out we are moving back to Denver on the 30th of June. Therefore I will be in the middle of packing, arranging the move, and job hunting for the next two weeks. I will try and pop in with comments and updates, but I doubt I will have much of substance to say.
So it may be a while before you see me again. I will be back though, so don’t go too far.

Daddy(ies)

To the man who always stood by me through all my poor choices and heartbreak. The man who made my fear of his sneezes into a game, and used to take me in Beowulf to raise hell.

Thank you for teaching me to howl at the moon, for showing me that good fights are always worth fighting, and that sometimes just a little bit of kindness can change a person’s life.

Thank you for getting me ballet shoes when I wanted to dance, singing lessons when I wanted to sing, and acting lessons when I wanted to act. Thank you for teaching me how to play chess, and putting up with me when I made up my own rules.

Thank you for always believing in my dreams, no matter how challenging or far fetched they seemed at the time. Your faith in me kept me going when nothing else could. It never occurred to me to doubt my abilities because you always believed in them.

You have been a wonderful father, and the best friend I could ask for. There is nothing more I could have wanted. You taught me what to look for in my partner, so my own children could have a wonderful father too. I have always known how lucky I am to have you, and I continue to know it.

Thank you so much for all your years of care and comfort. I can’t wait to get home to you and back to our regularly scheduled coffees.

You took fatherhood like a duck to water. Our kids adore you. You are kind, generous, silly, and loving.

I will never forget how willingly you entered into parenting. You read “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer” and “Parenting with Love and Logic”. You developed strategies and techniques for us to use in raising smart and happy children. You were an active participant in our family from day one, and you have been fully involved ever since.

There are moments that I witness, little vignettes out of time, that I think on when someone asks me if you are a good father;

You and Otter snuggled up watching NOVA together.

You and Monkey sharing in Dirty Jobs and Good Eats.

You and Monkey playing chase at the playground.

You throwing Otter up in the air and saying “Hello sir.” when he comes over to see you.

I am proud to be your wife and thrilled that we decided to do this together. I could not find a better partner, and I am so happy that I get to live my life with you. I love you so much honey. Happy Father’s Day.

Standing up instead of standing by…

Monkey won an award yesterday for standing up to a bully.

Apparently a second grader named Dillon was pushing her friend Anthony in the back and she got up in his face and told him to quit. Her friend Jasmine backed her up.

The school, which has a zero tolerance for bullies policy, gave her a stuffed tiger at an awards ceremony, with the ribbon on it that says “Stand up citizens don’t stand by.”

She is very proud of herself, as are we. Actually, I am incredibly proud of her, as it is hard to stand up to a bigger kid when someone small is being pushed around. Our culture is usually more willing to look away, than confront the problem. I am glad my daughter is willing to confront it.

However, now I am thinking I need to get her into some boxing classes, just so she can back herself up, when she once again decides to tell off a bully who is older and bigger than her. If she is anything like me, she will likely be telling bullies off for the rest of her life.

If it’s not one thing…

It’s another.
So I am trying to find a job in Denver, get ready for a huge yard sale, and pack our stuff for the move back home when Otter develops a rash.
No biggie right? Just a little rash.

A little rash that is spreading to his legs and arms…

A little rash that is developing blisters on his hands and feet…

A little bit of the Hand, Foot, and Mouth.

Yup, inordinately painful and completely untreatable, this rash will last for 7-10 days, during which time he will be in pain while walking, nursing, crawling, sitting, lying down, and everything else.

So…. so much for work.

Instead I expect to spend much of my time helping my poor little man deal with these: