Blank slate.

Every night before I go to sleep I sit down on the carpet next to my bed and I pull out my box of medications.  It is not a small box.  I rifle through pain killers, NSAIDS, beta-blockers, calcium receptor blockers, vaso-dialators, vaso-constrictors, muscle relaxants, estrogen, you name it.  It has been years since I didn’t have a handful of pills to take at night.

Earlier this week I ended up at the ER due to drug interactions.  There were two samples I had been given that weren’t supposed to be taken within 24 hours of each other. They are highly similar medications, so I basically OD’d on migraine treatments.  I have spent the rest of the week feeling like I have the flu as my body processed out the toxins. That got me thinking. What strange chemical soup do I have going on in my body anyway? Should I be on medications non-stop for the rest of my life? Given half lives of medications and drug interactions and nasty side effects, should I be throwing a bunch of samples into the mix?

My lovely trip to the ER and the several hour freak out about overdose or allergic reaction has lit within me the urge to go off of everything, start an elimination diet, and just get myself back to a blank slate.  I have no idea if the migraines I have now are so much worse because they naturally would have been that way, or if it is because I am a mind-boggling concoction of chemical additives.
It’s funny though.  This decision feels gut-level right but already my evil self is coming up with reasons why I should delay it, or not do it at all.

It’s nearly the holiday season, Evil Me says, you don’t want to feel left out during Thanksgiving, or Christmas! Think about how awful it will be to pass up the goodies!!

You have to take the estrogen, failing to do so will cause your bones to turn to dust and your chin to erupt in rivers of hair.

You will have to give up chocolate at the same time you stop taking your HRT’s. No one is stupid enough to do that. (Not even you, stupid).

Evil Me likes the idea of candy and not having hot flashes and being able to eat somewhat “normally”.  However, Evil Me is an idiot.  She also thinks it’s a good idea to put off chores, buy shoes she doesn’t need, and have that second serving of ice cream.  She would probably also be tempted to run off to Vegas with no notice, leaving the children in the care of my long suffering parents.

The books I have been reading indicate I should, at least, get off of refined sugars.  A fabulous new book I have been gifted suggests getting off of all grains, refined foods and sugars.  As sugar, chocolate especially, has long been linked with migraines, perhaps now is the time to go through with the elimination and reintroduction process.  Perhaps I can solve my health problems with a clean slate and close attention to trigger foods instead of using medications that make me ill and cost the earth.

It can’t be any harder than what I am currently doing.

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