I had intended to take the children to see the fireworks display down by Elitch Gardens. I had the three top spots all mapped out and planned to create a dessert picnic with glowing arm bands and pop-its and everything. They were excited. I was excited.

Then about an hour and a half until we were supposed to leave, as I was preparing dinner, my headache went from it’s normal manageable state of background noise to it’s angry roommate screaming in your face setting. Impossible to ignore and work around. My spirits plummeted.

I went to lie down and took some medication. It didn’t get any better. I tried to stay calm and relaxed but the unfairness of it all just hit me all at once and before I knew it I was sobbing. Then it really didn’t get better. Dan came upstairs and offered to drive me and the kids to the fireworks display even though it meant another night of less than six hours of sleep. That calmed me down. I told him no. I reminded him that managing my disappointment when this happens is part of having an intractable migraine.

I came downstairs and told the children we would have to stay home. They both threw their arms around me and said it would be better this way. Then Marlena went with Dan to get some fireworks for the house and Oliver helped me make dinner. He chatted and smiled the whole time. When Marlena returned home she triumphantly showed off the fountains, sparklers, and other ‘splody devices they had picked up.

Neither of them were disappointed. They enjoyed the food and the home sized fireworks display. We lit sparklers and fountains, snakes and smoke bombs. We stood back in the alley and watched them light up the night. Neighbors across the way cheered at our little fireworks display. This was the first time my kids had sparklers and fireworks at home so a night that looked as though it was going to be ruined was actually wonderfully memorable.

It was all ok. Despite my constant and inconvenient shadow, we had a lovely and close-knit fourth of July.