All posts by Savvy Spoonie

I am an artist, writer, jeweler, and a Spoonie. Before becoming a Spoonie I was a very busy high achieving attorney and advocate bent on saving the world. Now I'm struggle to redefine my life to fit within my reduced energy level. Some days are better than others. I have fibromyalgia, trigeminal neuralgia, and chronic daily migraine.
Monkey
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Oh how the time flies…

Marlena’s 6th birthday party was a splash!

She and her friends spent hours in the splash park playing and running around. She pretended to blow out candles on this very windy day, and delved happily in to cake and Ice cream sandwiches. She opened gifts and laughed and smiled.
At one point, she and her friend Alex were strolling together across the field, and they reached out and held hands. His mom Melissa and I just looked at each other. Our babies first hand holding!!

Somewhere between July 13, 2001 and now, my little baby girl became a delicately beautiful young woman. I was amazed looking at some of the pictures of the party.

Simon helps Marlena with her headband:

Here she is dumping water over her head:

Here Marlena, Alexander, and Hannah play with one of the park’s many water features:
Marlena, Simon, and Alex read a birthday card:

Marlena opens a present from Alexander. (Look at how incredibly lovely she is! She is getting so grown up! Where did all the baby fat in her face go?)

Hannah reads a card to Marlena:

This one breaks my heart. When did her lashes get so long and dark?
Marlena reads Gabriella’s lovely handmade card: (When Gabriella gave it to her, she was so cute, she said “Oh I bet I know who this is from”. Later on, she told me she knew it was from Gabriella because she recognized her style of drawing.)

Morgan, Mason, Alex, Simon, and Gabriella watch as Marlena ooh’s and aah’s over her present from Nama and Da. She has wanted an Aqua Doodle for a long time. Thanks Nama and Da!!

A birthday kiss from Mommy:

After all the presents were opened some of the party guests went home, but Marlena, Alex, and Gabriella went in for another round of splashing.
Marlena and Gabriella:

We had a great time and got lots of lovely pictures. Too many to post here. I will be emailing many of them to the apporpriate parties.

This friday we are taking her to dinner and to see the new Harry Potter. It is a really special birthday this year. Marlena was born on Friday the 13th and this is the first time her birthday has fallen on a friday since she was born. Therefore, since it is a double birthday, we are going to have two celebrations! At least. (She is finangling for one in Denver when we come home in August.)

Motherhood/body image
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Insomnia brings an epiphany.

I haven’t had insomnia since Marlena was born, I suppose because I haven’t slept much at all since she was born. It’s not all her fault, a big part of that is due to the various degree’s of higher education I have obtained since she entered the world.

Tonight’s insomnia came to me like an old friend. I used to suffer from this loathsome and annoying condition often in my youth. When afflicted with the inability to sleep as an adult, I would read or watch t.v. to while away the hours. As a child I would rearrange my furniture in the middle of the night.

Tonight I snuck into Marlena’s room and cleaned it. Then I lay in bed listening to my husband and baby snore and waited for sleep. It didn’t come. So here I am, writing to all of you, and eating some cream of wheat with soymilk. I miss real milk. A lot.

(Marlena’s bday party was successful today, but I will save that post for tomorrow, when I can post all the pictures with it.)

While lying in bed and listening to the rumbles of the men in my life I began to think about my body. Having just had a baby I am squishy and pudgy. I have dark marks down my stomach and I am pretty sure my breasts sag more each day. I look in the mirror while naked and I am a far cry from my supple teenage body of yore.

Tonight I realized something very important. I don’t care. I think I have a beautiful body. I love my body. My body has done the most amazing thing in my life, twice. I have grown two entire human beings. They came from me fully formed, with eyes, and ears, toes and fingers, and great personalities. They think things seperate from me and they have their own ideas. They will grow to have their own seperate lives. Their own children.

My body grew people. Real people. These real people:


I love these people. I love that they came from me, that I made them.

I love that my breasts look like they have nourished and are nourishing children. I love that my nipples are long and dark and my skin is marked with silver streaks. These breasts of mine have made the most amazing babies. They have fed them for hours of the most wonderful snuggly nursing.

I love that my stomach and thighs have stretch marks. My stomach grew two people. My babies came to life inside my stomach and grew to be strong and healthy. They would not be here if it weren’t for those stretch marks.

I don’t care that I don’t look like a young girl anymore, or that I am squishy and pudgy. My body is one that grew and sustained lives, and those lives love to hug and snuggle me as I am.

Thank you body, for everything you have given me. Thank you for being squishy and saggy and floppy. Thank you for being strong and able. Thank you for my life.

Moving
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Our house, in the middle of our street.

I am back online and into the new house in Freehold. Things are well and truly scattered in a typical post moving pattern. My family is living out of duffels as we try and make it through the next week or so.

Marlena’s BDAY party is Saturday. We are meeting friends at Dorbrook park for fun in the sun Splashpark style. So I have to quit the mass unpacking to gather her swimsuit, some snacks, a few goody bags, and some cake together for the grand event.

YAY MARLENA! She is almost 6!!