6:45 a.m — I groggily open my eyes to the soft patting of baby hands on my shirt as my son wakes up to nurse his first greedy nurse of the day. I whisper a cozy “Hey buddy” as he smiles his secret morning smile at me and settles into the blankets for breakfast.

7:00 a.m. — My alarm goes off. I hit the snooze button and go back to nursing my very hungry boy.

7:13 a.m. — Lee’s alarm goes off, he is out of bed and off to the shower while I try to detach from Otter long enough to wake up Monkey. I hop out of bed, gather a warm outfit complete with socks from the bins of neatly folded (yet not quite put away) laundry and wander into her room. I wake her up with some shoulder patting, cover removing, light turning on, voice raising mommy action and get her into the bathroom to wash, brush her teeth, use the potty, and dress.

7:25 a.m. — I head downstairs in my jammies, pack a lunch of whole wheat bagel with nuefchatel cheese, honey crisp apple slices, baby carrots, BabyBel mozzarella cheese wheel, and a juice. I then pour the quasi healthy bowl of breakfast cereal, set it next to a healthy glass of milk, and pile some extra honey crisp apple slices onto a plate.

7:35 a.m. — I head back upstairs to discover Monkey is still on the potty phase of her morning, and is still unwashed, unbrushed, and naked. Sigh. Urge her on to dressing and breakfast. I hop in the shower to spend a few minutes luxuriating in the steamy heat of water, hop out, dry off, brush my teeth, use the potty, and dress, taking a moment to find my clothes in the aforementioned neatly folded piles.

7:50 a.m. — I, somewhat angrily, dress Monkey, as she is still found naked on the potty when I emerge from my bedroom. I then urge her into her shoes and socks while her father changes Otter’s pants. She brushes her teeth while I seek out my shoes and everyone’s jackets, pack her bag for school, and bless my husband for brewing coffee while I was in the shower. I then begin to search for my shoes.

8:05 a.m. — I come down in shoes to find Monkey hastily stuffing apple slices and cereal into her mouth while downing milk. We discuss her unfinished homework, that she happily reported not having on Wednesday, and I explain she is going to have to tell her teacher she forgot to do it and ask if she can hand it in tomorrow.

8:15 a.m. — We load the family into jackets and/or buntings, clasp leashes onto the dogs, and head out into the cold to take a nice family walk before dropping Monkey off at school. Oh yeah, and Monkey mentions our late start is due to me taking too long to get ready. (I count to ten and breathe instead of screaming “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?”.)

8:25 a.m. — We drop Monkey off at school with hugs and kisses.

8:30 a.m. — We walk the dogs back to the house, I hand off my untouched coffee to Lee for his drive to work, and sit to nurse the baby while drinking coffee, eating a hasty bowl of cereal, and watching Smallville on the DVR.

I remember when I used to complain about having wake up early enough to shower, eat, and dress for work.

HA! I could smack my former self.

All of a sudden they are six going on sixteen! Monkey is now muttering “whatever” when I am parenting her, and using the phrase “like” about every third word. Not to mention the phrase “oh my god!”

“Mommy? Ummm… Mommy?”
“Yes Monkey?”
“Like, ummm…, we had cake, like chocolate cake, not the other kind of cake, at like school today because like, it was like, Jake’s birthday?”
“That sounds good… did you enjoy your cake?” (Notice I avoided the word like?)
“Yeah, it was like, pretty good, I even ate the cake part, not just, you know, like the frosting.”

“Oh my god mommy! Otter just caught the ball!”
“Oh my god, did you see that mommy?”

Tee hee… hee. Aaaahhhh!!! When did she turn like…. thirteen?

She left to see a movie with her dad today and had to put on her earrings and change her shirt before they left so she would look nice at the mall. Ahhh!! She never used to care what she looked like at the mall!! She would leave the house with her teeth unbrushed, her hair in tangles, and wearing her jammies if I didn’t force her to dress! Now she is up early primping!!!

Here is the scariest part:

She looks like a miniature teenager!!

She really is only six! Do you think it’s too late to by her bloomers and make her wear a merino frock and wool muff for the long walk to school? Maybe if I gave her a slate and chalk and encouraged her to learn ice skating and embroidery? Something has to halt her rapid progression into teenagerdom!

Yesterday, while playing dress up, she came downstairs in her earrings, high heels, and a little black dress and said “Look Mom!! I look just like a teenager! That is so cool!”

(Can you feel the heart palpitations? Can you hear me hyperventilate?)

There is some comfort in knowing I have many more months of diaper changing and babydom before my boy becomes a teenager in training, but seeing Monkey hit this stage so soon makes me feel as though the time is shorter than I originally thought it would be. Otter is growing very fast, but he is still smack in the middle of his baby days.

His latest achievement? He has begun to munch on teething biscuits and this interesting rice cracker we found called a Baby Mum Mum. As I bonus I get to wander around saying “Do you want a Mum Mum? Mmmm…. Mum Mum’s are Yum Yum!”
(It’s okay, sometimes I make myself sick too.)