Category Archives: women’s rights

(Another soapbox moment)

Don’t marry insecure, incompetent, and unintelligent men. A response to the article in Forbes.

So, I just read the article in Forbes entitled “Don’t marry career women.” Link Below.

http://agreatnotion.livejournal.com/553587.html

It is safe to say that the author of this article is one incredibly closed minded fool. He cites to several reasons for his urging against joining your life with that of a career woman, but the most precious in my mind is his examination of the “economic theory” of marriage. He says marriages are less happy when the woman is working because traditionally, men handled the necessary “Market” portion of the family economy, and women handled the “non-market” portion of the economy. He cautions that this non-market work must get done, implying that working women don’t do it, resulting in higher divorce rates. Umm… Okay…. hmmm….maybe more men should learn how to wield a broom, or wait, with your higly increased family income, hire a cleaning person!! That’s a great idea!! In a choice between keeping your 90k a year lawyer wife home with the kitchen earning no imcome, or spending a small portion of the family income on a housekeeper, I would rather have the extra 60-75k!!

Here’s an even better one!! He states that statistics show that marriage where both partners are working result in more divorces than marriage in which only one partner is working. Ok, sure, but…. why is the default, Man Works?? Why not have your career woman, marry a stay at home man!! YES! Extremely modern unthought of concept, I know! Two people working in a marriage causes the marriage to fail, maybe whoever makes more money should be the one to work. Not just the men.

My favorite, lovely comment of his: “When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they’ll meet someone they like more than you.” Hmmm…. so men who work outside the home are more likely to meet someone they like more than their wives, but that’s okay. However, if women work, they are more likely to leave their husbands for a co-worker. This argument is based on the societal construct that a woman’s infidelity is more damaging/inappropriate than a man’s. Like a woman’s viriginity, her fidelity is more societally valued than a man’s is.

I will tell you what! If I were this man’s wife, and I had beyond a 6th grade education, I would leave him anyway. Obviously, he lacks the creativity necessary to make any worthwhile marriage work. Rather than seeking unusual or alternative solutions to the problems presented in a dual career family, he simply thinks women should go back to the kitchen (and the 1950’s) and stand by their men.

Thank you for listening to my rant.

Your highly educated, career oriented, happily married, Denver Woman.

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Don’t bash on the belly gentlemen…

Why are pregnant women called crazy? (A soapbox moment)

I am bothered by a common theme within our culture as represented by the media, and our culture in general. (Actually, I am bothered by many common themes, but this is the one bothering me today.)

I find it disturbing that pregnant women are considered crazy. If a pregnant woman has an emotional reaction to any given situation, she is just as likely to be treated like a person recently released from an institution as she is to be treated like a person with feelings. I understand that pregnancy causes emotional ups and downs, harsher or more extreme reactions to normal situations, and simply more emotions in general. I get it, I am currently pregnant. I understand that my crying in the grocery store the other day because the Fair Haven A&P doesn’t carry the fudgsicles my parents buy back home is not the way I would behave if I weren’t pregnant. I understand that crying at the end of Clerks II was more likely caused by hormones than it was the touching and meaningful prose of Kevin Smith. (I am pretty sure that Mr. Smith never intended to make his audience sniffle quietly whilst Dante and Randall rebuilt the Quick-Stop.)

Crazy is a hugely negative term in our culture. It immediately demolishes a person’s credibility. For example, when liberals and democrats in 2000 and 2004 began to speak about the possibility of a stolen election, the validity of their viewpoints were dimished quite effectively by referring to them as crazy. (Or by referring to them as conspiracy theories, which in popular culture is synonymous with crazy.)

What upsets me is that these increased emotional reactions are natural. They occur becuase of a natural increase in hormone levels caused by growing a baby. (Without this ability, the human race would cease to exist, so therefore, I feel we should more respect pregnant women.)
I am upset that the hormones rushing through my system as a result of my role in continuing the species give other people the license to call me insane and treat me like a ticking time bomb.

Those of you who know me know that I can get fired up and angry about a great number of things, without a single wayward hormone in evidence. How am I supposed to make it through the next nine months without harming those around me if they treat me like a lunatic each time I get up on my soapbox?

It is unfeeling of our culture to punish pregnant women for expressing their feelings when a massive flood of hormones is pulsing through their systems. (Yes, referring to pregnant women as crazy when they react emotionally is punishment.) Why don’t people simply understand that the growing of another human being has a tendency to effect emotions? Why aren’t women, while pregnant, offered commiseration and support, instead of being derided as insane? Isn’t it enough that we have to willingly get fat in a culture that makes anorexia look healthy?

Your Denver Girl (Pregnant and emotional!) signing out.