Category Archives: health

A week between posts, an ear infection, and scary fatigue…

Well it’s been a week between posts because I have been struck down with an ear infection and have been attempting to listen to and empower my inner voice.

Monkey has been tired for over two weeks. Not just tired, but sleeping after school when left to her own devices, going to bed early at night, and then looking as though she hasn’t slept in a week. She is manic when she is awake, and starts getting dark circles under her eyes and yawning before 3:00. She has complained to her teacher about tummy aches and generally not feeling well for days on end. She has become a regular at the nurse’s office, but is always sent back to class, because no one can find anything wrong with her.

I have been trying to let her rest, have been making sure she eats well, and have been experiencing a growing sense of disquiet for the past two weeks. Yesterday I finally reached the point when I couldn’t chalk it up to stress or lack of sleep. I finally took her to the doctor. He was nice, he listened. He didn’t put on the patient face most doctor’s get when a mom walks into their office and says “something isn’t right with my child.” He heard me, and examined her, and told me to treat her with cold medicine and come back after Christmas if she wasn’t better for blood work. It sounded very sensible and logical. It made perfect sense in the light of day. But last night, when I checked on her, and saw her pale little face, dark circles present even in sleep, it was the dumbest plan in the world.

I called again today. I walked into his office and begged him not to make me wait until Christmas was over to test her blood. I told him I was willing to be the mom who over-reacted, the mom who was wrong, as long as I wasn’t the mom who spent every night for the next week wondering if something was really, really wrong. The mom who spent Christmas trying to quiet the voice that trots out all the scary reasons for her fatigue, instead of the likely ones.

Let’s face it, when the voice in your head starts sounding alarm bells, it’s not because she might be anemic or have mono, it’s because a tiny little voice reminds you that fatigue can be an indication of cancer, lukemia, and other life ending dieseases that you do not want to spend the holiday season rationalizing away.

I spent last night crying because something was wrong with my baby. Something was out of place. Something wasn’t right. She was not okay. I have no idea what it is. It could be as simple as the flu, but it wasn’t the flu that had me peeking in on her over and over again. It was fear.

Luckily, the doctor treated me for it. He took her blood today, and promised me to check her for everything scary. I was so grateful, I almost cried.


I love Cream of Wheat!!

I decided, after my not so helpful doctor’s appointment, to proceed with my life as though I were anemic and ill. I started going to bed earlier, and happily discovered that Cream of Wheat has 50% of your required iron per serving. I ate it for breakfast and dinner day before yesterday and breakfast yesterday. I actually have color in my cheeks again! I have energy again! I went to the grocery store yesterday and shopped, I cooked dinner, I actually participate in my life for the first time in a week!

I am so relieved. I was beginning to look forward into the next three months with a growing despair and horror. I couldn’t stand the thought of being too tired to handle the basic responsibilities in my life. Thanks to the aforementioned cereal, I am happily engaged in work and home life again.

It is still very odd being out here instead of in Denver. The weather is cold in a clingy, biting way that I have never really felt before. It’s almost as though the cold is suffering from an attachment disorder that forces it to try and climb inside you and be absorbed. It’s impossible to get rid of, and it seeps in through all the windows and doorways. It comes with a lovely morning frost that is slowly killing off my roses, and paints pretty images on my lawn. It is the worst by Monkey’s school because it is in a swamp. I send her to school each day in a long wool coat with a sweater and hat and mittens. I make her promise to wear her little mittens so her baby hands aren’t bitten by frostbite when she plays at recess. She acquiesces with a shiver and doesn’t even try and argue.

The holidays are pretty out here. I see lots of huge inflatable christmas characters and lights all over the place. There is still a lot of green. All in all, I miss home. I miss Roby and Heather’s magical christmas display, and my parents little tree, and indifferent cold.

We are supposed to brave the city this weekend to go see “the tree”. I will let you know if we made it or not.

Happy december!!