I missed the huge Memorial Day BBQ my friends were having.
I wanted to go. I wanted to see everyone. I just couldn’t. I thought about a room filled with dozens of people laughing and talking over each other, children running around and playing, music, etc. I thought about myself, sitting in a corner, watching it all happen around me as my headache slowly began to build to an intolerable level.
My photophobia and phonophobia are such that I can’t be at large, loud parties without developing a debilitating headache within about an hour.
It’s been 8 months of headaches every day and I feel myself fading out of friend groups, excursions, and social life.
It makes me so sad and angry and frustrated. I want to be at the big loud parties, the group events. I want to share in the moments these beloved people are making together. It’s yet another thing that I feel has been taken from me.
I am disappearing from the world I used to belong to.
3 thoughts on “Fading out…”
*hugs* As you know, some worlds are better than others, anyway. *HUGS*
I too send the hugs – and I know this weather isn’t doing you any favors. If there is somebody you need me to yell at though, just text me. I’m happy to be your anger translator! 🙂
Oh Misty, you are so young to feel this way. I do with Chronic pain. When it hurts, I don’t want to go anywhere.