I missed the huge Memorial Day BBQ my friends were having.
I wanted to go. I wanted to see everyone. I just couldn’t. I thought about a room filled with dozens of people laughing and talking over each other, children running around and playing, music, etc. I thought about myself, sitting in a corner, watching it all happen around me as my headache slowly began to build to an intolerable level.
My photophobia and phonophobia are such that I can’t be at large, loud parties without developing a debilitating headache within about an hour.
It’s been 8 months of headaches every day and I feel myself fading out of friend groups, excursions, and social life.
It makes me so sad and angry and frustrated. I want to be at the big loud parties, the group events. I want to share in the moments these beloved people are making together. It’s yet another thing that I feel has been taken from me.
I am disappearing from the world I used to belong to.