Tag Archives: chronicpain

I’m Weather intolerant…

Some people can’t do dairy, I cannot do weather. Apparently I shall simply have to move to a place where I can avoid it. Any suggestions anyone?

No?

Me either.

Short one today as the wild horses we slaughtered in our ‘mastering’ of these plains countries are getting their revenge by running across my face with sharp haunting hooves.

I did not walk, punch, or otherwise engage in meaningful exercise today but I did do leg and arm lifts for ten minutes while lying in bed making what my son referred to as “Minecraft zombie sounds”. I’m counting it towards the fight against Fibromyalgia as my neuro told me ANY movement counts.

I ate healthy and did cupping and engaged with my children who I actually cooked for. (Ok, I cooked for one of them because I forgot the other one had come over to pack up more stuff for the move but I did let her feed herself with my food so that’s something. Okay, okay. Technically it was my parents food, I don’t buy those burgers but it’s all a shared pot anyway.)

I wrote a daily haiku. See my portfolio.

I wrote a post here. (See above)

I call it a win. I’m going back to Gilmore Girls reruns. Stay safe and avoid the weather at all costs lovelies.

Old man winter is a sadist…

Ugh whatever is up in the Rocky Mountains right now is seriously sadistic. Nearly everyone I know is having unusual numbers of headaches and those of us who were already living life in the unusual column are clinging to the edge of the ledger by our fingertips praying to gods we don’t even believe in that a Peruvian Green Velvet Tarantula comes along and bites us.

That being said I walked today. I was able to do so because an amazing friend of mine created an amazing device for me.

See, I have some combination of facial neuralgia and parathesia that moves around my head. Some days I can wear glasses and masks and hats just fine. Others I can’t touch behind my left ear. Other days a wind across my face sends me to my knees. Lately I haven’t been able to wear anything behind my ears or touching most of my head for longer than a few minutes without my headache ramping up to GO-LIE-DOWN-NOW proportions.

As we are still amidst a global pandemic and I value my life and the lives of others this means I haven’t been able to go anywhere for very long.

Enter Scott.

Scott is a maker. He is a creator, a daydreamer, an inventor of wonderful things. He fiddles with things to make them better. He is strange and funny and wonderful and when I texted him and told him I needed his help he dropped everything to invent me this:

Why yes, that IS a neck mounted headgear-like device to hold your mask flush to your face without it touching the parts of your head that have inexplicably decided that touching is verra verra bad.

See:

So now even though my body doesn’t like wearing masks and the world is still basically a dangerous petri dish I can now go to the grocery store or for a walk with my husband and dogs without suffering for it.

What is the point of all this rambling?

There are three points actually.

Point one: I am on day three of my exercise for 15-20 minutes every day regardless of how I feel fibromyalgia treatment streak. Yay me! (Y’all are my accountability partners. Don’t you feel lucky?)

Point two: If you see an oddball creative person that thinks differently do walk past them afraid to meet their eyes. Go introduce yourself to them and try to see if your weird meshes with theirs. You never know when you will need a creative fiddler in your life.

Point three: If you are an odd duck, don’t fret. There are those of out here who celebrate and value you precisely because you don’t think like everyone else. If you feel alone now hold on. You will find other oddballs (like I did. I now have a lovely chosen family of tried and true oddballs in my life) to be your true self around but better yet, the older you get the more non-oddballs will see having oddballs in their lives make those lives fuller and more fun. So don’t give up. You are important. You are made of stardust. (Literally. Ok, I know we all are but I like to think we strange ones have just a little extra stardust than everyone else.)

Stay safe lovelies, and be kind to one another.

Broken, not broken enough…

My broken is not broken enough
to get the help I need
to stop the bleed

of endless co-pays and medical bills
of supplement costs
of specialist fees.

any adventure I manage to have
any life I squeeze
any pleasure I tease

from this tattered body and shattered dreams
becomes the reason You see
to refuse the need.

my broken is not broken enough
i should be deteriorating more
lying prone on the floor

or screaming in torment and pain
unable to enjoy a thing
enterally suffering.

my walk with the dog around the block
isn’t a sign that I’m lying
i don’t have to be constantly crying

to need help and support
from my village
it isn’t my intent to pillage

i would work if I could.

You would see the food thrown to the crows
rather than let it slip
through my lips

because it might have been earned with your labor
and You never need a favor
everything You have You worked for.

You personally paid for the street that was laid
for your car to traverse
on your way to work.

And the water You mindlessly drink
from your kitchen sink
comes from your well

dug with your own hands at your own cost
You got nothing from us
never even rode a bus.

My broken isn’t broken enough
to stir empathy
in your heart

You lack the sympathy
to understand
You won’t lend a hand

You are your own man.