Category Archives: self-care

A little something …

One of the ways I distract from pain is to create and one of the ways I keep myself sane is to clean (thank you OCD) so my more recent set of creations is the Tome of Treasures.

It’s a journal designed to help me declutter. Because I tie memories to items and even though I am very, very good at only keep things I am emotionally connected to I am also very, very good at connecting emotionally to things.

So I get overwhelmed and my space fills up and then I try to determine what “sparks joy” and everything does so I cry.

So I made a different way.

My first edition, the Garden edition, is 50 pages of different floral backgrounds on a creamy white with gold trim. A pretty place to capture the memories of how and where you got something, a picture of it, who is connected to it, any story behind it, and finally, what you did to part with it.

My second edition is the Wonderland Edition and it features the original images from Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, on a red and white card themed background.

Both editions are designed for printing at a Staples, or Vistaprint, or similar printer and are justified for a 3 ring binder. I have uploaded them onto Gumroad and am sharing them here because I realize I am not alone in both connecting to inanimate objects and in feeling overwhelmed by owning too many of them.

I had originally intended to sell these as bound books but I don’t think they will work very well unless I find someone who will do them as a loosely bound spiral notebook. After all, you are supposed to be pasting images of your treasures into each page so traditional binding wouldn’t work very well.

If you are interested in checking them out you can visit my GumRoad Profile here: https://savvyspoonie.gumroad.com/ or you can click on the buttons on the content sidebar.

The lonely war…

There is a loneliness that comes with living in pain all day every day.

It doesn’t matter how loving and supportive your family is, how amazing your doctors are, or even how strong you are, eventually, at some point, you will settle in for another battle against your invisible enemy and it will ultimately be up to you to fight it.

Again.

I am here in my cozy space. It has been built over the years to be as reassuring, comfortable, and loving a space as can be. We decorated it with intention, put in conveniences like an ice machine, a massage chair, and a freezer so I have ready access to the tools I need for self-care on my worst days.

My new cat is on my lap. Both dogs are at my feet. My husband is asleep at my side, his hand on my arm in loving support, unable to leave me without his touch even in sleep.

Yet I am feeling that isolation that comes from the approaching storm front, the impending doom of the mounting head and face pain. The knowledge that all the love being aimed at me is coming from the outside and I have to, yet again, dig deep and find the strength to get through another episode.

I am feeling the loneliness that comes from knowing all the support in the world can’t give me more energy, more inner strength. That all the supporters who love me don’t know what this really feels like, that my experience is isolated to me.

Hell, even the diagnostic criteria for my syndromes say “each patient experiences these symptoms differently.”

There is no camaraderie to be found fighting invisible battles on battlefields that occur inside yourself. There are no great songs written about our internal wars.

There is only the moment we each face, over and over, as we let go of the loving hands trying their best to help us, and turn to our internal struggle yet again.

I am not alone, but at times, this battle is a lonely one.

AShes to diamonds…

and guilt about future bad acts you aren’t even in the position to do.

Join me in my latest episode!

Welcome to Season 2 – The Spice of Life – SavvySpoons – Living a life of limited spell slots.

Misty welcomes you back to her podcast. Which she totally stopped recording because of a seasonal break or some other intentional reason instead of basic overwhelmed spoonie forgetfulness. Totally. 
  1. Welcome to Season 2 – The Spice of Life
  2. Simply Do.
  3. Ignore your pain, then write about it.
  4. I'm back?
  5. Your Body, Your Funeral